[Sniper felt himself burn again as he tried to find an answer for her. He could put together what he found attractive physically easily enough, but thinking of what drew him to her in other ways required him admitting certain things.
What he was doing already breached his personal code. He could feel himself attached to her more than he knew he ought to be: he idly wondered what she was doing at times, looked for her each night before they climbed into bed, had an inkling that felt suspiciously like concern when he thought of her being hurt. It had gotten to the point where he not only didn't mind the fact that they slept together in in a shared bed, but actually looked forward to it at times.
That was a point where shame hit him. He was the one who perverted it, wanting there to be something other than the innocent act between them. It wasn't just that though. His thoughts didn't stop at intimacy. He wanted more than that, even if he couldn't fully grasp what more it was he wanted from her. Not yet.
He answered finally as he gave her hand a squeeze, knowing he had to say something, even if the truth wasn't clear.]
I don't rightly know, exactly. But—
[He sighed, eyes still closed.]
But I wouldn't change you to be more like those girls. I, um. Rather prefer you stay how you are now.
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branchandroot
[Action]
Date: 2012-02-05 08:16 pm (UTC)What he was doing already breached his personal code. He could feel himself attached to her more than he knew he ought to be: he idly wondered what she was doing at times, looked for her each night before they climbed into bed, had an inkling that felt suspiciously like concern when he thought of her being hurt. It had gotten to the point where he not only didn't mind the fact that they slept together in in a shared bed, but actually looked forward to it at times.
That was a point where shame hit him. He was the one who perverted it, wanting there to be something other than the innocent act between them. It wasn't just that though. His thoughts didn't stop at intimacy. He wanted more than that, even if he couldn't fully grasp what more it was he wanted from her. Not yet.
He answered finally as he gave her hand a squeeze, knowing he had to say something, even if the truth wasn't clear.]
I don't rightly know, exactly. But—
[He sighed, eyes still closed.]
But I wouldn't change you to be more like those girls. I, um. Rather prefer you stay how you are now.