notintehkitchen | [Action][Night after the end of the event.]

[Action][Night after the end of the event.]

[Pyro has taken her leave and has told no one where she might be off to. She knew it was better that way. It was time to get away from those she cared about before she lost the tiny bit of sanity that was still keeping her at bay from lighting anything she saw on fire. Wearing her full uniform, the woman breathed in out deeply through her mask as she pressed down on the handle to the flamethrower and let the fire come out freely. It was like the sensation of eating or smoking cigarettes, but a hundred times better. To see her old friend she had been with since she was a little one was a relief.

This friend was angry at her for ignoring it and not letting it come out to play in this new world previously. It was just as curious as her. Oh, yes. She knew that. The way it spread so happily and fast on the ground near the park right now proved it. She could hear it egging her on, to go other places as the wood from the swings crackled and turned black.

It had been a long time, hadn't it? When was the last time she felt free to use her flamethrower? Certainly not in this place. No, in a world with a faulty respawn system she could injure allies and really kill them.

It was all a pain. A nuisance. Did she have to behave? Maybe it was worth being punished, she broke the rules back home... why should she be 'good' here?

As she ran off in another direction, her flames swallowed up everything in it's path. The beautiful flowers quickly burnt away, the building that Pyro called her workplace had met it's destruction next. Firefighter had not been as good as word as she had thought it been. Had she been so stupid as to think she could have a job where she got paid to cause fires in Paradise? They only wanted her to put them out. They wanted her to hurt the thing she loved most. It made her want to cry...

Within a few hours, a large section of the city would be glowing an orange color. If one listened closely enough; through the flames, they might hear the maniacal laughter of a person inside.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You should of thought of that before you pushed me, twice! I was only trying to be nice! I thought--

[Going over to Jell-O on his ankle, Pyro grabs hold of his other tentacles and give one huge tug. There's an extremely high-pitched squeak as Jell-O releases his grip on Sniper. Pyro watches him get out of her own grasp through the thick layer of mucus covering her hands. With a huge splat, he flings onto a nearby wall.]

We were friends!

[Friends.

She just said friends, to a BLU.]

We were till you started tryin' t' get in my space.

*He likes his personal bubble. He grimaces as Jello-O splatters into the wall and slides down. That's going to stain forever.

He'll ignore the fact that he just confirmed what she said about being friends.*

You're acting like I picked you up, took you off to bed and snuggled you. I've only done that to Engineer.

[Stop. Mentioning. Engineer. Pyro.

Spoiler: Alcohol is like truth serum to her.]

You know.

Just because you're sexy doesn't mean I want to kiss you or anything.

If you did that I would 'ave punched you.

*He woozily gets himself into a sitting position. His ankle is covered in slime and he doesn't want to touch it. Ick.*

I'm what.

*So staring at her. He's never been called that before in his life, especially not by a RED.*

Don't try it. Or I really will hurt you. I mean it.

I would of punched you first!

[Crossing her arms and sticking out her tongue, her retaliation is to act like a child.]

Like I would ever kiss you. I'd do better kissing an ashtray.

[Pyro smokes her fair share too, but she doesn't think she can compete with Sniper.]

Sorry for complimenting you. Jeez, you're worse than a woman.

[...

Pyro, are you forgetting your own gender again?]

*No one can compete with Sniper's smoking except Spy. At least he doesn't chain smoke like him.*

Jus' letting you know.

*He arches an eyebrow at that.*

What's that supposed t' even mean?

[Insert sarcasm here.]

I'm so hurt.

[Walking over towards the kitchen, Pyro instantly starts raiding his kitchen for cooking utensils and pans. Nothing is better then cooking when you're somewhat drunk.]

I want bacon and macaroni & cheese.

[She's ignoring your question. If there is one thing she knows everybody likes it is food.]

You want what? Bacon pasta?

*Looks like someone is going to be introduced to the glory of mac & cheese. He staggers to his feet and follows her into the kitchen. Guess he already forgot he was frantically pushing her away mere seconds before.

But before he does he throws a couch cushion at Jell-O. Pinning the dumb thing underneath it.*

[Turning towards him, she gives a stare that might make him feel more alien-like then Jell-O.]

You've never had Mac & Cheese? Americans make the best food. I learned that from Engineer!

[Here we have a very unusual type of foreigner. A Japanese girl who is admitting to things from outside of Japan being superior.]

Aaah, if there is one thing I miss most about home it's barbecuing everyday and eating bacon sandwiches!

[One had to wonder what was more important to her. Fire or food?]

Hey, wouldn't it be neat if all the houses were made out of cookies? Like that one story... or maybe it was cakes or something, but it'd still be delicious!

[It was food.]

No. I haven't. I told you, I don't get invited t' eat with the team.

*That's partially to blame for how skinny he is.*

You could barbecue here everyday if you wanted. You'd get sick 'f it after a while though. I think it was cookies, and if that was true we'd be infested with ants an' it would melt in the rain.

I wouldn't be opposed t' having a wall made 'f coffee cake though.

*Yeah there's some food he likes.*

I like my men with some meat on them.

[Now you're not sexy anymore. :(]

Oooh, but Mr. Hawk! You're wrong. I wouldn't get sick of barbecue there is so many things you can make!

[With a drunken frolic over to her suit on the ground, Pyro pulls out a box of noodles. a brick of cheese (ew gross, how long has that cheese been in there?), a stick of butter and a small carton of milk.]

I think I have everything.

Edited 2011-09-21 03:13 (UTC)

*He is okay with that.*

You're carrying milk around in your suit? That's...

*Really gross. But he's not going to say that right now in case she decides to sick the little blob on him again.*

It's still cold?

[She replied back as if that was the problem and not that it was really STRANGE.]

I wanted to make you something that would be good for you.

[By good, she means "makes you fat.' Skinny Sniper needs fat on his body.

As she brought over all the ingredients and began to prepare the meal, something came to her.]

Hey, how tall are you?

Edited 2011-09-21 03:50 (UTC)

That's not.... nevermind.

Cheese an' bacon are supposed t' be good for me?

*He leaned against the wall and lit up a cigarette.*

'm six foot seven.

*Turns out Australia didn't convert to the metric system till 1970. Learn something new everyday.*

Cheese is dairy and bacon is meat, correct? Then I think it will be fine. Especially for someone like you!

[Teasingly, she attempts to grab his side and squeeze it as if trying to search for an ounce of fat. He's lucky he is about to get saved.

Six foot seven? Holy...]

No one ever told you that you should be a basketball player, did they? I had that problem back home when I was in school. At 5'8 they thought I was a giant woman.

[Then again, she is talking about Japan.]

Someone loike me? I'm not that skinny.

*She's a hero!*

I'm not gonna run around in shorts playin' some stupid sports game. An' no. I mostly got told I should be more Australian.

You won't be when I'm done with you!

[Pyro! Isn't this helping a BLU too much? If you put some weight on him and he actually continues being a bushman in Paradise, won't he gain muscle? He might be able to beat you in a physical fight.]

I got told to be more Japanese by mother and father.

.. And before you ask, it has nothing to do with being a geisha, samurai, ninja, kamikaze or doing karate.

[That was all the stereotypes she could think of at the moment.]

Or killing Godzilla. I swear, if I have to answer one more Godzilla question...

Anyways, you shouldn't worry about being what somebody else wants you to be. It's a waste of time and you won't be any happier. Just do what you want to do.

[Finishing up the food, she offered him a bowl with bacon mixed in.]

*His metabolism will kick into overdrive and he still won't gain an ounce.*

Doesn't Godzilla breathe fire? Seems roight up your alley.

*Yes he's teasing you.*

Why do you think I'm a Sniper for BLU instead of back home wrestling crocodiles with my barehands an' impressing my girl?

*Wait.. what did he say? Nevermind all that. He looks down at the bowl.*

American's really eat this?

Do my burn scars look that much like scales to you?

[After eating a few bites out of her own bowl, she elbowed him lightly.]

I'm not the one with the sharp teeth.

[Annnnnnnd, hold up. She almost choked on her noodles there.]

Of cour--You have a wife?

*He hesitantly tries it. Honestly it would probably be better without the bacon, but it's still pretty good.*

That's not 'alf bad.

*He groans and glares over at her.*

I almost did once. Didn't work out.

*Every line in his body is screaming DON'T ASK ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT IT.*

[Sticking her chest out proudly, she beams.]

I'm a good cook!

[She really wants to ask if his lady saw him piss in a jar or something and ran away but she'll resist that.]

What happened?

*He's actually eating, someone should film this. He glares at her harshly, and then looks down into his bowl.*

She found someone better. More loike Saxton Hale. Weren't engaged that long anyway.

Least she didn't leave me at the alter.

*He shrugs and concentrates on his food. Congrats Pyro, you're the first person he's ever told that. Normally he wouldn't but he's still sort of tipsy and the food and Jell-O have thrown him off guard.*

Edited 2011-09-21 05:02 (UTC)

Why would any girl leave you for a man more like Saxton Hale? I don't see the appeal.

[Is she one of the only women in the world that doesn't find those type of men sexy? Urgh, they're too muscly and she isn't digging the mustache.]

If she had, you should of used that rifle on her.

*You don't live in Australia Pyro, it's just different there. More hairy and muscular and full of people who punch kangaroos.*

I'm not gonna shoot her, Pyro....

Can we talk about something else?

[Eating silently until she was finished, she thought on what he had said. She wasn't the best at comforting others and she was unsure how to respond.

Setting her dish in the sink, Pyro looked up at him and sighed.]

...

I'm...?

[Poking her fingertips together, she tried to find the correct words to say but she didn't know how to verbally comfort someone. The only one she ever comforted was Jell-O when he got hurt (he loved to fake it to get attention from Pyro Mama) and it involved hugging him and one other thing.

..

That it looked like Sniper was going to see.]

You're no Jell-O, but... this is correct, yes?

[This would be a good time to dodge if you don't want Pyro to stand up on her tip toes and kiss you on the cheek all very awkward like.]

Re: [Action] Well, on the positive side they're not talking about sex anymore. Not that Pyro ever wa

[Action]

[Action] No, just her mun wants her to. /shot

[Action] He's gonna pass out from all this brain breaking. Even Jell-O won't want it.

[Action] I dunno, he hasn't had any people brains lately. >3

[Action] D:

[Action] /pats Someday someone will scold Pyro for eating habits... besides Medic.

[Action] Someday Sniper won't act like such an ass. WE CAN DREAM.

[Action] Someday Pyro will give him her ass and not have an ass and whut.

[Action] Take some deep breaths. Deep

[Action] Sniper should go look in her suit, he'd get sucked in. ITS A BLACK HOLE.

[Action] He's a bit frightened of that thing now.

[Action] He should be. Pyro is magical. i hate u enter button k

[Action] She really is. She's not fat, she's just wearing a black hole around her middle.

[Action] And her ass. xD; I swear even in disguise that will be her dead giveaway.

[Action] She has the most recognizable ass in Paradise.

[Action] Pyro has a self-proclaimed hypno-ass.

[Action] I like how they fight and then share secrets and then fight and share secrets...

[Action] It's because they are both TSUNDERE.

[Action] It makes them so lovable. <3

[Action] I'M NOT DOING THIS BECAUSE I LIKE YOU OR ANYTHING, MR. HAWK. xD;

[Action] And he's totally not tolerating you because he's kind of fond of you. NOT OF JELL-O THOUGH.

[Action] Awwwh, how sweet. He wants to adopt her~

[Action] .... mebbe

[Action] I think this is about as cute as it gets before Pyro ends up running away herself.