[Voice]

[notintehkitchen]

It feels great to be back in my own body! I've missed using my hands so much. Now I can eat bacon and open things again! Really, those two things are very important!

[There is a squeak in the background.]

That's right, Jell-O says he is happy to see his mother back too. I wonder who was taking care of you while I was gone?

[A few more squeaks come across the feed.]

No one? Did you behave yourself?

[There is no more squeaking.]

I'm taking that as a no. Alright, who's brain matter do I have to clean up?

Comments

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Please? Go back to a dog and I'll light cigarettes for you to smoke.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I'd die.

Dogs can't 'ave nicotine.

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

I don't believe you! I'm going to turn you back into a dog somehow!

[bye_to_yer_head]

It's true, it's poisonous t' dogs. So don't go givin' none t' Chibi or anything.

An' you better not. I'm foine th' way I am. Why do you jus' want me t' be miserable all th' time?

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't do it to a real dog! You're awful for thinking that way of me!

No, I want you to be cute all the time.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Oh so it'd be foine t' do it t' me?

Only cos you want everything t' be th' way you want it to. Awfully selfish ain't it?

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't have the same affect on you because you wouldn't be a real dog!

[Ouch, that hurts.]

I'm not selfish. You're wrong. ... Why do you say that?

[bye_to_yer_head]

Because yer only thinkin' about yerself. Sure ya helped out th' RED bloke, but ya also embarrassed th' hell out of him and made him damn miserable. Ya didn't have t' do that you know.

This is th' same thing.

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[Placing clenched fist against her upper chest, she begins to yell.]

I don't believe you! He likes sleeping with me! If he didn't, he'd tell me so! You're mean! I didn't do anything wrong! All I do is take care of both of you and make sure you don't do anything stupid like kill yourselves! If it wasn't for me you both would of died from lack of nicotine and coffee a long time ago!

[bye_to_yer_head]

Ya don't 'ave t' yell at me. You're th' one that asked.

I was talkin' about th' getup with th' dog ears, not about helping him out 'f the hospital or takin' care of him. Ya don't got to..

Got to...

Back up here. What now?

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

There's nothing wrong with dog ears. How is that so strange when you both throw piss? In Paradise, the latter is worse. Dog ears aren't disgusting, they are cute. There's nothing wrong with them. He likes dogs, I thought it would cheer him up if he had sweet little pointy ears atop his head. Is that so wrong?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Yes, let's move on here so he can pretend he didn't hear what he thought he heard. Must have been his mistake.*

But it don't cheer him up. It makes him more cranky than he already is.

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

He hasn't told me to take it off him lately, I don't believe you! Stop telling me lies!

[Something comes to her suddenly.]

You're Spy, aren't you? BLU Sniper would never be so mean to me! Your personality is all wrong!

[bye_to_yer_head]

I'm not lying! I jus..

Oh nevermind. It's not loike ya ever listened t' me in th' past either. And I ain't a Spy.

*He reaches up and rubs his eyes behind his glasses. This is what he gets for trying to have conversations.*

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Are you jealous of me because Mr. Hawk likes me better then you?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*This face.*

You serious?

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Why wouldn't I be? If he hated me, he'd try to strangle me while I'm cuddling him in my sleep.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I never said he hated you. You ain't even listening t' what I'm saying.

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

He's not miserable. I've seen him smile.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Alroight.

*He sighs. This is going nowhere.*

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[Crosses her arms and pouts.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

What?

OSHI--

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

If I made him miserable...

Why would he kiss me?

[Shoving her hands over her face, she begins to sob quietly.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

He...

Wait what?

*Serious brain malfunction incoming.*

He did what now?

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Mr. Hawk kissed me! If I make him feel terrible he wouldn't do such a thing! I must make him happy. I know because I kiss Jell-O too because I feel happy by his presence. Not in the same way, but...

[And she's totally sobbing uncontrollably now.]