[Public][Text] #2 Sniper

[notintehkitchen]

Dear Mr. BLU Sniper,

I have a special present just for you. Do not fret, it is not your death. However, if you do not accept my invitation to give you the gift perhaps I will change my mind and kill you instead.

Sincerely,
RED Pyro

Comments

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Oh. That ain't how it works in Australia. Only one day fer both.

*Him and his mug are going to start inching towards the door now.*

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[No you don't! Pyro is going to lock on with a creepy stare that can only be matched by Jell-O.]

Something seems to be troubling you about the upcoming holiday. If anything, RED and you can swap bottles of piss.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

It ain't my favorite toime 'f th' year alroight? Jus' drop it.

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

So it'll be you and jarate spending together this year together again?

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He closes his eyes for a moment, his grip tightening on the mug, before looking over at her again.*

I guess so. Thanks fer th' mug.

*And with that he's going to turn and leave because he does not want to talk about this.*

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Hey, I know.

Why don't you ask Cassidy out? She's everything a man wants in the opposite sex; a dog and woman.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

I don't think you know anythin' about what men want. And you sure don't know anythin' about me so quit it.

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Maybe not entirely. After all, your RED counterpart seems rather fond of me in a way I can't understand fully.

[What have you been told about your truth filter, Pyro? STOP DOING IT.]

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

He's not me.

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

You're both Australian. You have the same brains... well, basically. Can you tell me why he pays so much attention to me? I'm sure you two gossip.

[BOYS DON'T GOSSIP, THEY HAVE MANLY TALKS ABOUT MANLY THINGS.]

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Yer not stupid, why do you think he does? He obviously cares about ya, though I can't fathom why.

*Because you're clearly just going to break REDs heart.*

An' I ain't helpin' you with yer relationship problems when all you do is insult me an' threaten t' kill me. Figure it out yerself.

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

I'm not stupid, but I really don't get it. There's nothing attractive about me, I've made sure of that.

[Shoving her hands over her face, she sighs.]

I made myself as ugly as I could, but he still likes me. Why? I... I don't know.

[Looking back up at him through her fingers, she rolled her eyes in minor annoyance.]

I didn't threaten to kill you anymore and I gave you a gift. If I hated you, I wouldn't of invited you over and been friendly to you. Killing you would be simple if I wanted to do it. I don't need you to come to my house in order to get the task done.

Do you ever listen to yourself? This is why I get angry.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

I'm starting t' think you don't listen t' yerself.

*He looks back at her and shakes his head.*

You really don't get it do you?

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[What question she answered wasn't made clear. Her response came out vague and hurt.]

I don't.

Re: [Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Look, there's some things ya jus' gotta figure out fer yerself. It really is better that way. Won't mean as much comin' from me, 'specially since I barely know either of ya.

*He looks down at the mug in his hands before walking off.*

Jus' trust me on this.

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[When he seemed tempted to leave, Pyro fought back with concern she tried to hide by making it about somebody else.]

Are you going to go away? ... You should stay, RED would like that.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Do ya want me t' stay?

*For the life of him he couldn't figure out why.*

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Um, yes.

I need to feed you.

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

As long as it's not bacon, alroight.

*Hey, he's not gonna turn down free food.*

This is jus' so you can ask me more stuff ain't it?

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I eat other foods besides bacon.

[A skinny thing like BLU never should.]

I'm not sure what you're getting at.

Re: [Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Nevermind.

*He follows her back into the house, because he's a sucker for free food.*

Yer base gettin' crowded now that there's th' three of you?

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

[Shrugging it off. she sat back down on her couch and sighed.]

Three people is hardly what I would call crowded. You're talking about people, right?

...

Do you mean Jell-O and Teriyaki?

[Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

I meant people.

Why, do Jell-O an' yer dog not get along?

[Action]

[notintehkitchen.livejournal.com]

Dogs and brain slugs are people too.

No, they get along fine. It's cute, really. Jell-O rides atop Teriyaki's back.

Re: [Action]

[bye_to_yer_head]

Won't he get covered in fur?