notintehkitchen | o hay I'm actually bein a dude lol Pyro x Sniper IT'S A TRAP

Sniper's immediate inclination was to move away as she held onto his arm -- it wasn't that he was opposed to it, so much as he just wasn't used to having a woman hang onto him like that. If he was perfectly honest, he wasn't used to getting much attention as it was -- he was considered abnormal in Australia, and ever since he'd arrived in the States, he'd focused on his career. His job required him to remain out of sight, away from the attention focused on the battlefield, and he preferred it that way.

Not that this was bad, of course. He tried his best to not look as out of his element as he was as he headed for the restaurant with her. "Good. Great. Aces, even. I don't got much to, er. I mean, I've got plenty, so you can get what ya like. Don't go on dates much."

Or ever. Ever was closer to the truth. He held the door open for her, trying to be a gentleman.

"I apologize. I do not intend to be selfish. I can pay." Momoko then repeated something very similar to that of his comrade. "I am not after money. In fact, I do not want you to feel you must pay for me. If I liked someone just for being rich, I doubt I could call myself a decent human being." The tone of her voice had been both serious and underlined with a hint of sadness. Observing Sniper fully, she thought it was possible he assumed a woman might only want him for his wealth.

Deciding she should keep her friendly smile and revert back to her chipper tone as soon as possible, Momoko squeezed his arm lightly into the front of her frame as she spoke. "But thank you... Sniper. I can tell you are a gentlemen. I'm lucky to be able to meet you."

Edited 2015-09-26 19:41 (UTC)

"S'not that I thought that," he returned quickly. "If a sheila wanted money, she could do better. S'just that I, er..."

He trailed off, feeling himself redden as she squeezed her arm against her chest. He fumbled with his hat, reluctant to take it off even though they were indoors. The concierge greeted them both, asking if they had a reservation.

Sniper managed to mumble something about six o'clock under "Mundy." The host looked down his list, eyeing them both for another moment before he managed to find the name. He motioned for them to follow him to their booth, grabbing a couple of menus before he took off.

Sniper motioned for Pyro to lead the way, not sure if he could bring himself to wrench his arm from her. He had been taught to let ladies go first. Despite having spent decades hunting in the wilderness, he still knew his basic manners.

He didn't seem to take himself too highly when it came to women. Strange. Was that ego of his only good on the battlefield? He wasn't ugly. Not at all, really. Definitively not ugly. As she was going to think on the topic of looks she found herself interrupted by what might of been his name. Her ears were pretty good but she hadn't been entirely paying attention. Mentally cursing, she then started to move. God this place was fancy.

Wasn't super rich people food not very filling? This wasn't the crap where they brought out one plate at a time with a bite on each plate, was it? As easy as her life would be now, she didn't get the idea of eating overpriced food that wasn't very good just so you felt better than everyone else. Sniper most likely took her here to impress her. Aaaannnd there went another negative thing she had to keep down. He didn't know how to date so he was just as clueless as she was for the most part.

When they got to the table, Pyro sat down and crossed her legs. This is for my dear comrade. I'll boost his ego some. He deserves to feel better then Scout does about women at the very least!

Sniper slid into the seat across from Momoko, thanking the host and taking his menu, glad to have something to hide behind as he finally removed his hat and set it beside him. He tried to smooth his hair out as he glanced over their options for dinner... only to realize most of the menu was in French.

He swore under his breath, his teeth clenched as he tried to keep his voice inaudible. "Bloody Spy. Knew I shouldn't've trusted him to suggest a restaurant."

"Oh. Ummm...." She looked at the menu and did realize that there was indeed a lot of French words. Sniper was familiar in a way to most Western men and that he only knew one language. Granted he knew English but it was a variation and one of many. He seemed to understand a lot of American slang and even Engineer's southern accent. To be honest, Sniper would always be better at speaking the language then her.

Pyro shook her head.

"Oh. Did you know that a lot of words from France are words we use in English everyday?" She tried to smooth over the situation as she pointed things out on the menu. "For example, I'm sure you've heard of these ones: sauté, resumé, protégé, potpourri, petite, naïve, matinée, liaison, genre, fiancée, faux pas, façade, entrepreneur, en route, en masse, encore, deja vu, decor, debut, debacle, coup, chef, boutique, cafe, bouqet and even ballet! Let's not forget even more food words we would use right this very time!" The server man had been so impressed he was already patting her head like one would do to a kid. It was difficult not to when such a young girl talked so enthusiastically and with a rather impressive knowledge of words that weren't her native tongue. "Oh, Oh! Hahaha... Restaurant and Menu and hors d’œuvres!" Placing her hands together and winking up at the man who was their server and quite obviously French, she giggled.

"I know hors d’œuvres don't technically count Cream puffs and that would be a dessert but could we start off with something sweet? Pretty please?" Annnd the man was already off gleefully accepting Pyro's cuteness and politeness to go fill in their order.

Sniper sat silently through Momoko's explanation, his eyes darting from her, to the waiter, to the menu, then to the door. On his face crept a wrinkle of discomfort, one that etched its way into his cheek and down to his mouth, which had formed a very tight, yet very slight frown.

No, this date hadn't been a good idea at all, had it?

"Er..." He shifted in his seat as the waiter wandered off to fetch her a dessert. "You, um. Like sweets."

It was an astute observation from a man who looked unbelievably overwhelmed by the situation he'd gotten himself into.

Turning her gaze to Sniper, she beamed and answered with a overly perky voice. "I got a whole stomach just for sweets!" Whenever food was involved there was cause for excitement. Pyro knew for certain she would like cream puffs. Just thinking of such a delicious yet unhealthy dessert made her mouth water.

"They really are quite good. Nothing weird." In Western terms, she assumed at the very least. "Just yummy sweet cream and delicious bread and sometimes they put chocolate on them. Hee-hee!" Placing her hands on her cheeks, she was like an excited child.

Pyro had knowledge of French desserts. Considering Pyro was a fan of food in general, it wasn't surprising--that is if Sniper would of known it was Pyro in front of him and not this Momoko.

Soon, a large plate was brought out with several cream puffs along with two smaller plates to set them on for each of them. Pyro took one in both of her hands and begin to munch on it in small bites with her mouth closed.

Edited 2015-10-07 08:29 (UTC)

Waiting for his date to take one first, Sniper got a cream puff for himself, sniffing it before taking a bite. It wasn't bad, but it was definitely too sweet for his liking.

Still, he nodded in polite approval, remembering his manners. "S'not really my thing, but I can see why you like these. They're, er..."

He watched her chew on her own dessert for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Words, among many things related to dating, were not his strong point.

"Delicious? Amazing? Fantastic?" Despite saying it wasn't his thing, Pyro chimed in as she continued to eat. Between bites she did chatter away, something she was excellent at doing.

"So, what do you think about my cousin?" On the inside, she knew she was being a little selfish asking Sniper his opinion on her when she was right in front of him unknowingly. Having to put up with all of this to make her comrade feel better though she should of gotten a little reward. Sniper was a man, he could take this. It wasn't like he was ever going to figure out the truth about her anyways.

"Yer—" He stopped, remembering through the haze of nervousness that yes, it was his coworker and her cousin who had set him up on this date to begin with. This was clearly Pyro's fault.

Not that saying that would impress Momoko, and given how lovely she was, he really did want to impress her, despite himself -- or at the very least, not make himself look like a complete fool.

"I don't know the lad all that well, honestly," he admitted. "We work together, but he and I do different jobs. I'm an assassin, and he's..."

Sniper fumbled for a word, as he was unsure of whether or not Momoko knew what her cousin did for a living. To be fair, it was safer he kept the details scant, given the stipulations of their contracts. "He specializes in keepin' the pest population around our base down."

That seemed truthful enough -- after all, Spies were the epitome of pesky.

Edited 2015-10-07 19:26 (UTC)

Ohoho. He was trying to be crafty with how to put what her job was despite the fact they were given titles? Sniper wasn't too good at talking to normal people. "I see." With the cream puff finished, Pyro resisted the urge to lick her hands and instead took a napkin and cleaned them off.

"You are given such strange yet specific sounding names." And he just admitted he was an assassin. Now, a normal girl would react differently. But how should she put it? Maybe she should play it off dumb even though anyone with half a brain would know an assassin meant he killed people.

"So..." Her eyes got big and hopeful. "You are like James Bond?!" It was hard to tell if her question was sincere or teasing.

"James Bond?" he asked. "That bloke from the film? He's more like Spy than me."

And he meant that on several levels: for one, it was more of Spy's job to steal the intelligence than it was his -- he wouldn't be caught dead trying to run into an enclosed space for a briefcase. That wasn't what he specialized in.

Secondly -- and not that he'd seen the movie, of course, or would admit to having seen it -- both Bond and Spy had gadgets they relied on. Sniping was about skill, not about what toys one had to make up for talent.

And third, well... both Spy and Bond had a way with women. Sniper certainly didn't, if the way he shifted nervously in his seat whenever he looked across the table at his date was any indication. She was younger than him, and probably should be looking for someone more her age, but he couldn't stop looking at her, stealing glances to take in her features.

"Hmmm. But your job is secretive is it not? And I mean--you are certainly just as handsome." Pyro was throwing those compliments in his face. Watching Sniper react and fidget about to a woman was almost too cute. If she pinched his cheeks and told him she wanted to take him home she would probably ruin his life forever. It wasn't very cute when a grown woman said things to a grown man like that--usually.

To be honest, she had to admit deep down she was flattered with the way she was gawked at. Apparently she was still female if reading Sniper's movements and face told her anything. Granted she was using quite a bit of make-up to cover her scars but other then that... most of her, was indeed all her. Hah, if she could see her Mom right now she bet she'd be fuming. No man is ever going to want a childish tomboy like you. Psssh.

"It's quite hard for me not to want to cuddle you." Was cuddling okay? Did grown-ups say cuddle? She bet if she nuzzled her cheek against his chin it would tickle from his whiskers.

Pyro's words hit their mark: he turned as red as his work shirt as she called him handsome, and couldn't help that smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. With his hat in the seat beside him, he had nowhere to hide but behind his menu. He took a deep breath back there, trying to settle his nerves and not look as flustered as he was because an attractive woman was flirting with him. Him. Not Spy, not Demoman, not the mustached bloke next to him -- him.

He didn't even get to process what she said next as the waiter arrived to take their dinner orders. Given the conversation, Sniper hadn't taken much of a look at the menu -- his solution was to point to something that sounded vaguely appealing in the French language and hope that he wouldn't choke on it when it arrived.

He also needed water. Lots of water, please. The waiter nodded, smiling to himself at Sniper's crimson color as he turned to take Pyro's order, letting her date hide another moment.

Blinking as Sniper remained quiet, she was curious if she said something off-putting? He looked weird but was it in a bad way? He was so red. Hopefully that was from blushing and not something else.

As she was about to ask him if he was okay, she then saw the waiter and began to put her order down. Mainly? More desserts. That seemed safe. When finished, she decided she'd ask if she was being an okay date. Wait. That was probably not a thing you should ask on an actual date.

This was pretty awkward.

Waiting until Sniper would finish his order, she finally got back to talking.

"Um. Are you... feeling alright? You are all red and stuff. You can put your head in my lap if you want."

He looked absolutely feverish as he finally emerged from behind his menu, handing it to the waiter with a word of thanks as he adjusted his tie for the umpteenth time. The other man was thankfully aware of his plight, and grabbed a glass of water from a passing waitress, handing it to Sniper. He looked like he needed it.

And he definitely did. He downed half of it as the waiter walked away, only to nearly spit it out as Pyro questioned him.

Oh, and she offered to let him put her head in his lap. He wasn't sure what that meant, or if there was something lost in translation, but his embarrassment was evident all the same.

He choked on the water in his throat, barely getting it down as he rasped: "What?"

Edited 2015-10-14 07:20 (UTC)

"Uh!" What did she say wrong? It didn't sound wrong to her and yet this reaction of his was the worst yet. "It was merely a suggestion, you don't have to. I'm worried about you because--well..." Fidgeting a bit in her chair, she poked her fingertips together. "You don't seem so well. Look, I'm sorry... did I do something bad?" And with that her eyes got big and watery. Pyro looked as if she were some sort of puppy dog afraid it was in trouble, she just needed the ears and the tail.

"Or maybe... I'm not you type..."

Sniper cringed as she looked at him, her eyes bleary, her posture apologetic despite having done nothing wrong. "Wh— no, it's not anything you did! I mean, what you asked was, er."

He shook his head, words tangling together in his mind to the point where he couldn't think straight. Gritting his teeth, he bit back his nerves, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided her gaze.

"It's not you." He sighed heavily, wishing he didn't feel so foolish, but knowing he'd only make things worse if he didn't come clean. "I know you're only here because your cousin asked you to come. I'm just... I'm not... real experienced with dates. Not used to a beaut like you callin' me handsome rather than the next bloke."

She wasn't too good at this date thing either. When she got deep and personal with her own comrade she couldn't say a lot of her info was helping her make this date run any smoother. When he denied his looks again, she sighed before placing her hands on her upper thighs and looking down.

Acknowledging and then repeating her own opinions on Sniper's looks was way more difficult then it looked. Just calling him handsome hadn't been enough? What would the average, flirty type of girl who had every man under their thumb do? Pyro wasn't a seductress and going beyond anything but cute with her youthful and childish face was not going to happen.

"Fine. Do you want to go some place private so I can prove to you how handsome you are?" Her words were straight and sounded like she wasn't joking. Whatever her intention if he said yes, she didn't know. Then again, she wasn't counting on him saying yes.

Deep down, Sniper was a gentlemen just like Engineer. She trusted in that.

Momoko might not have known what she'd do if he said yes, but Sniper had no idea how to respond in the first place. There was a first time for everything, and he had to say this was definitely the first time a woman had come onto him so... strongly.

Well, maybe they'd tried before, but he hadn't been as interested in them as he was in her. He hadn't put much stock into relationships: they held him back from his career, could be used against him, and in all honesty, he never saw himself as the type who would settle down anyway, much to his mum's dismay. And yet, here he was, in a restaurant with a lovely lady, all dressed up himself and trying to impress her as he struggled to maintain even the barest of conversation. The fact that she was easy on his eyes was a shame, given she was related to a coworker and really ought not get mixed up with a professional assassin like himself.

"Er..." He swallowed hard as he ran a hand through his hair. "No, it's, um. Hn."

That wasn't exactly the response he'd been working on, so he tried again.

"I'll be honest... the problem is that I probably shouldn't've come on this date in the first place. I don't know what I'm doing here."

Pyro was surprised. He really was a good guy that tried to be honest. As someone who had always hated lies even small ones, she always marveled at others who tried to hold themselves up as better people. "Hey... I appreciate it. Telling the truth can be hard but it's right thing to do. Jeez, now I really do like you a bit..." Her cheeks this time were the ones turning red. To think she wasn't around Engineer and yet her face felt this funny. Sniper was capable of making her feel warm too. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

"A shame though, but I don't want to force you to do anything. I think Sniper should just be himself. It's no fun pretending to be someone else." That last sentence was heavier in weight then anything else she had ever said. Pyro led a double-life and had made up a cousin in order for her comrade's health and stability to be improved both on and off the battlefield. "It's the... worst... actually..." Looking down at the remainder of her meal, her face turned sad as she trailed off. Her heart stung and if there was a possibility she could tell Sniper the truth she would but it would mean risking so much for the both of them. Sniper needed his job, he lived for this job. It made him happy. She was happy too, she just wished she could be known as a woman and not a man who had to tweak bits of her personality around her comrades to appear less feminine.

"Did you know Pyro has some similar hardships? I mean--he's mentioned them. There's someone he likes but can't tell that person."

Sniper rubbed the back of his neck, wondering what he'd said to make her react like that. He'd thought he'd seen her blush, and it crossed his mind that maybe she was as nervous as he was. Perhaps she had similar reservations regarding his age and his being a coworker to a relative, even if she had been flirting with him a bit aggressively only a second before.

And somewhere after that second, she'd gone from forward to forlorn, and he couldn't pinpoint exactly why. It wasn't as though he didn't think she was attractive -- and he'd even tried to say it a few times, though he was sure the message was getting as muddled as the rest of his thoughts. She had said she wasn't any good with dates, either. Maybe that was why Pyro thought the two of them ought to meet.

"Like I said, I don't really talk to the lad much outside of work. I mostly keep to meself. It's easier that way, with what we do for a living."

"Maybe you should. Pyro likes to talk." It wasn't a lie and it wouldn't be bad to learn more about her comrade. The only comrades she was really close to was Scout due to their similarities in age and Engineer who she spent most of the time protecting.

Not sure how to end this date or even how to walk away from it, she bit down on her lip. "Uhm... it's okay that you don't want to do this. I'm sorry." She shouldn't of been apologizing but she was apologizing for both of her personas.

Deciding to get up from the table, she went over to his side and bowed apologetically before pecking him on the cheek. Finishing that action was enough to make her want to escape in embarrassment and yet she felt obligated to make him a little happy. Heading towards the door, she slipped out and started to walk down the block. Sniper couldn't find out she had came here on the very motorcycle that Pyro owned.

The date had been difficult, to say the least. The conversation -- Sniper's attempts at it, rather -- abysmal. The food, obnoxiously French.

However, it was that peck on the cheek as Momoko made her exit that had left Sniper stunned and completely lost. He could hardly process why she'd do such a thing, much less why she would apologize when he was the one who'd completely bungled the outing. He sat in silence for a minute or two, his eyes on the door and his mind entirely elsewhere, before the waiter came to attend to him, reminding him that there was a world outside of his own head.

And that was the end of the so-called date. He'd paid for their food, left in a hurry, gotten back to the base, and tried to forget everything that had happened. Perhaps it was a good thing he wasn't particularly interested in settling down with a wife, anyway. It was one of those areas where he was painfully inept, and would therefore rather avoid. He didn't want to think about it, nor did he want to bump into Pyro and have to tell the lad how it went. He was sure his coworker's cousin would tell him anyway, and then the news would be out that a professional assassin like himself couldn't handle a single date with a lovely lady.

The problem was that bumping into Pyro was inevitable: they did work at the same base together, after all. Maybe he should have thought about that before agreeing to go on a date with the man's cousin.

Edited 2015-10-26 07:04 (UTC)

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DW srsly just sent me this shit, my jimmies are rustled

DW we're going to have a long and serious talk about those notifs.

women confirmed, whole stomach for sweets.

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Sniper wished he got laid as much

Yes, yes he does. Sometimes.

pyro pls let sniper breathe

He's going to pass out and die. You just wait.

dammit pyro stop it dont ask a grown ass man to put his face inbetween your legs

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