o hay I'm actually bein a dude lol Pyro x Sniper IT'S A TRAP

[notintehkitchen]

Pyro had gotten used to the years pretending she was a male for all intents and purposes, she had convinced herself to a fault that her female self had to be hidden away at all times in order to keep up the charade. It had worked so far and no one was the wiser. Sure, she might not look as masculine as the others but not every man was born super manly. She was still passable enough visually to look like a young man who would do better in a boy band on American Bandstand then on the battlefield.

Leaning against the base after a hard days work, Pyro smoked and listened to an always frantic Scout go on about Miss Pauling. It was a good thing she could just stare and nod, Scout loved to talk and if she had to give advice on girls she would be pulling shit so far out of her ass. Scout would probably take anything though. It was pretty cute how desperate he was for that woman to accept him and he was obvious, she could only assume that Miss Pauling was a smart enough lady to not mix work and pleasure. A good woman.

Comments

Sing that to Thomson Twins' "Lies" XD

[hasstandards]

Sniper winced as his date hit the ground, apparently so conked out that the fall didn't even faze her. What did she do that'd make her so tired?

Nope, that was getting too personal, he decided. He wasn't here to cozy up to her. He was here to prove he could have a successful date, and that'd be the end of it. He was a bloke, and he had something to prove to himself (and maybe to Pyro). That was all.

He also needed to prove he was a complete gentleman, which he absolutely didn't feel like at that second as he stared a little too long at her legs. He chided himself inwardly - he couldn't help his vantage point from his bush.

Still, he ought not let her lie on the ground like that, even if it was early for their date. Straightening up and dusting off his clothes, he headed over to her and let out a short cough once he got close, hoping to rouse her without having to point out just how much of an eyeful he was getting.

:O

[notintehkitchen]

Her senses were pretty good when it came to being aware of others. The cough was enough to make her open up one eye and look upwards to take Sniper in. Holding her gaze there and processing the man she was looking at. She then brought a hand up to her face and rubbed her eyes.

"Mmnn... sorry. I... I was really tired. Not your fault. I was just--I'm never mind." Getting up from her spot on the ground and wiping the sawdust off the bottom of her dress. She then did her best to do a complete turn around. Reaching her hand out, she smiled. "We meet again. I'm happy you wanted to see me. I thought... maybe I did something weird." She blushed on account of how foolish she had been. How could she be a Pyro if she couldn't play lookout properly? Sniper didn't observe something strange while she was off dozing, did he? That was the last thing she needed.

[hasstandards]

Sniper shook his head. "Nah, it's, er."

He rubbed the back of his neck, realizing he was already second-guessing himself. He never did that on the battlefield -- there wasn't time, not when the perfect shot was often allotted only a split-second to make. When it came to doing his job, he could make the important decisions based on instinct; it took no time at all. Why was it so much harder here?

He was out of his element, yes, but he needed to adapt, and quickly. "It wasn't you," he answered truthfully, taking her hand to give it a polite shake. "I don't, um. I don't get a lot of dates. Thought it might go better if we weren't somewhere so formal."

[notintehkitchen]

"I see. So..." She placed a fist underneath her chin before continuing. "You were trying to impress me. Well." She didn't need fancy stuff, she could have whatever she wanted. Sniper didn't know that and it was probably natural to assume a woman would be impressed be luxury items or delicious food. The second part could work on her, but French food had never been up there on her all time favorites. If it was a pile of bacon on the other hand--no. Focus.

"I don't need that kinda stuff. Just normal food is fine, too. It doesn't have to look nice so long as it tastes good." Poking him lightly with her free hand against his chest, she laughed. "That is... sort of sweet and cute. If you keep trying so hard I'm gonna want to take you home~! Can't say I've ever had a guy wanting to impress someone with a face like mine."

[hasstandards]

"Can't see why ya don't got people fawning all over ya," he let slip, shutting his trap belatedly as he realized what he'd said. He stiffened instantly, then tried to cover for it. He was supposed to be smooth on this date, not the nervous wreck he'd been on the previous one -- if he could handle hunting the most dangerous beasts in the world back home, he could handle a simple date with a lady.

"Er, what I'm tryin' to say is that, um. You're not a bad looker at all. S'nothing wrong with your face that I can see."

Very romantic, indeed. It was the truth, though: she was a few years too young for him to properly date -- this was just a casual date, he insisted, nothing serious -- but she had an attractive face, and a body with curves to match. It was a shame he couldn't be serious with her, and that it wasn't right for him to court a coworker's relative. This was just to prove he could handle this whole 'date' thing like any other bloke.

Yes, it was definitely a shame, and one he was certainly not mulling over for far too long in his mind.

[notintehkitchen]

He was too cute. She never thought anyone could get near Engie in terms of cuteness level but to see a grown man fumbling over a girl like her was enough to make her swoon. Something about imperfection became perfections for her. No matter how hard she wanted to take him home it couldn't be possible due to obvious reasons. If she held that thought in her mind too long she knew she would get depressed. Taking home and knowing the real her... not the boy her or the fake girl her. If he could just know Momo, that would be nice to share. She only needed one person...

Realizing she had paused for a long time, she then got closer to him and nodded. "Uh! It's... I don't know. Maybe I have bad luck." Because my face is really disgusting if you take away this make-up mask of mine... "I mean, I think men have looked at me but possibly only in disgust. I think I might be too scary!" Despite looking positively adorable right now in her mannerisms and attire. "I've been told I'm too friendly and that I will scare men off if I don't play hard to get." But that didn't make sense. Men wanted that s-word, didn't they? Wasn't she good enough? Not that she wanted to have the s-word with just anyone. No, they would have to be special.

[hasstandards]

Sniper gave her a smile, a little relieved she didn't seem put off by his faux pas. He got bolder as he took a step closer to her himself.

"I've faced down crocodiles, water buffalo, and me mum on a bad day. Pretty sure there ain't nothin' you can do to scare me off."

Much smoother. He could do this.

sniper don't you dare misunderstand XD

[notintehkitchen]

She smiled more at the secret that was right under his nose then anything else. It was a bit hard not to crack. She wasn't a robot. Pyro was a very emotional girl who did her best to control what she felt. Inwardly, she kept apologizing. "Oh, I could think of something." But there was no going there.

"If I took off my clothes, I bet you'd run the other way." She was joking, totally.

Whoops, he misunderstood. :>

[hasstandards]

He was glad she was playing along with him, challenging his bluff -- right up until she bested him with the threat of taking off her clothes. He laughed in the initial moment following that statement, his mind needing a second to process that thought. And once he had, and his imagination was painting an image to match her offer, he looked as though he'd swallowed a bug.

He coughed, and his hand immediately went to his brow to push his hat over his face; it froze once it got there, as he remembered his hat wasn't there to hide him, to disguise how ruddy his face was getting.

"Right," he said in the pause, trying to focus on anything but that mental image dancing in front of his mind's eye. "I mean, no, not right, but um."

He groaned. So much for Mr. Smooth. Time to change tactics.

"If yer 'ungry, we can go ahead and pick up something. Thought we might visit the arcade after. I'll show ya what I'm really good at." ... which apparently wasn't dates.

look at these two be lewd

[notintehkitchen]

Were old men usually this cute? Why did cute have to be her weakness of all things? Cute was subjective too and with Pyro so many things could be cute.

"Aah. Damn." She looked at him attempt to play it good. Having to control the limits of how far she went with what she said and did because this was her comrade.

Cool it. It's not like I can have sex with him. WHAT. What did she just think? Shut-up brain! Sex?! She had never even done THAT. Sniper and her were not an item. No way, no how.

Looking down towards the ground, she looked at her boots and fidgeted. Her body felt tense, her ears red and she got an annoying tingly shiver that she refused to admit was because she was only human. Everyone wanted love and attention. Attention from a good-looking older man would be right up her alley.

Swallowing hard, she stumbled forward and quickly thought of what to say. "What are you hungry for?"

[hasstandards]

"Haven't really thought about it," he answered, figuring that 'I'm hungry for a date that doesn't end terribly' would not be an appropriate answer if he wanted to impress her. He rubbed at his neck, feeling tension in it.

"You pick, and I'll pay for it. How's that?"

Pyro, don't. DON'T.

[notintehkitchen]

"Oh! I like anything with meat! Lots of bacon is the best!" And it took 0.2 seconds for her brain to go from lewd thoughts to thoughts of devouring a mountain ton of food. Food was better then sex. Not that she knew but she assumed it would have to be!

Not catching that what she said would sound like her cousin he worked with, she outstretched both of her hands and started to tug on his arm like an excited kid with bright eyes. "Do you want to have BBQ? We can do it!" Going shopping with Sniper sounded fun, it'd be interesting to see what he actually enjoyed eating considering the answer she had was nothing with the way he was so thin and lanky.

PYRO, DO.

[hasstandards]

"Right," Sniper said noncommittally, his eyes trailing to his arm as she grabbed it and gave it a tug. There was something she'd said that had caught his attention -- the thing about bacon -- but he couldn't quite put his finger on why. It took another second of his mind firing with half its cylinders (the others were still lamenting his lack of a hat) before he placed it.

"You er. Like bacon too, huh?" he started, letting her lead the way.

Re: PYRO, DO.

[notintehkitchen]

"Too? ...Oh!" That wasn't enough to give her away. Sniper couldn't deduct they were one in the same because of a love for bacon. No reason to be scared. "Yep. My cousin likes it too but I bet I like it more!" Laughing as she walked with him, she paused in thought before turning towards the man who was both her date and comrade.

"Are we using your car?" Whew. She almost thought she was going to say camper van without being able to catch herself. "Ummm... my car is very tiny." Not a full lie, it was a motorcycle with no extra space.

/BODYSLAMS INTO THIS THREAD

[hasstandards]

"We can," he answered, not wanting to have to ride in a tiny car. He'd been in Spy's vehicle once -- it was one of those low-to-the-ground numbers that was all looks and no leg room. That, coupled with the fact that the man drove like an absolute maniac, made Sniper never want to ride with him again.

"What else do you and your cousin got in common?" he asked idly, leading the way toward his camper.

Ohi

[notintehkitchen]

Everything, but she couldn't say that.

"Same color hair and eyes." Although that was to be expected if she did have a cousin given genes and the country she was from. It was uncommon to see anything but a wave of black haired people on busy streets in school uniforms, suits and prim and proper office lady attire.

"Do you not get to ask my cousin much about himself? He's pretty talkative, it shouldn't be too difficult if you are interested in him."

[hasstandards]

"We don't talk much when we aren't working," Sniper replied, neither confirming nor denying that he was interested in Momoko's cousin. He wasn't. He absolutely wasn't. He was happy the lad had set him up on this date, but aside from that, they were just coworkers and nothing more.

Sniper pushed a snort through his nose, irritated with himself. "S'just a job. We aren't friends."

[notintehkitchen]

Hearing those sorts of reassurances made her wonder how good of a job she was doing as a man. As she thought on it she realized very few women had ever been stuck in the same situation of doubting their fake manhood. Keeping her comrades happy and friendly towards her was important.

"You seem defensive about it. I don't care if your friends with him. That would only make sense to me. I mean, he did care enough and trust you with being near me. I think he thinks higly of you." And it was the truth. Engineer had always been her favorite of favorites but Sniper wasn't too far behind.

"Is there something wrong with him?" Oh no, what happened if he thought his pyro was friendly in that way because certain mannerisms were getting out?

[hasstandards]

"What? No. S'nothing wrong with the lad." Because nothing said he wasn't defensive like immediately getting defensive. Sniper didn't actually think there was something wrong with Pyro, other than that he was maybe a hair too friendly for someone who was a business associate. He just didn't want that kind of attention. He had better things to do, money to make, heads to shoot.

Or at least that was what he told himself. It occurred to him belatedly that telling Momoko this after Pyro had been kind enough to secure him a second date (not a date) was probably not his best move. "Look, I don't know what he's said about me, but I'm not much of one for, er. Associating outside of work." In other words, he was a loner through and through.

[notintehkitchen]

In her current state, girly clothes and all she could still kick his ass if she wanted to. It was tempting when the man she protected in battle didn't think much of her. It would be nice to be accepted as a friend. Jeez!

Crossing her arms as she made it to the paasenger door of his camper, she tsk'd at him. "Fine. See what happens next time to your back." Ooops, that might be giving too much away. "I hope you don't break my heart like you did Pyros." Not that Pyro was here. "I know if my cousin heard that, he'd be disappointed. Not that I care so long as you don't say it to his face but don't lie eithier. Liars are the worst."