RED Pyro (Mori Momo) (
notintehkitchen) wrote2015-08-04 08:43 pm
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o hay I'm actually bein a dude lol Pyro x Sniper IT'S A TRAP
Pyro had gotten used to the years pretending she was a male for all intents and purposes, she had convinced herself to a fault that her female self had to be hidden away at all times in order to keep up the charade. It had worked so far and no one was the wiser. Sure, she might not look as masculine as the others but not every man was born super manly. She was still passable enough visually to look like a young man who would do better in a boy band on American Bandstand then on the battlefield.
Leaning against the base after a hard days work, Pyro smoked and listened to an always frantic Scout go on about Miss Pauling. It was a good thing she could just stare and nod, Scout loved to talk and if she had to give advice on girls she would be pulling shit so far out of her ass. Scout would probably take anything though. It was pretty cute how desperate he was for that woman to accept him and he was obvious, she could only assume that Miss Pauling was a smart enough lady to not mix work and pleasure. A good woman.
Leaning against the base after a hard days work, Pyro smoked and listened to an always frantic Scout go on about Miss Pauling. It was a good thing she could just stare and nod, Scout loved to talk and if she had to give advice on girls she would be pulling shit so far out of her ass. Scout would probably take anything though. It was pretty cute how desperate he was for that woman to accept him and he was obvious, she could only assume that Miss Pauling was a smart enough lady to not mix work and pleasure. A good woman.
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It had been the kind of day where the rain got in the way, the constant downpour on the battlefield bringing down both visibility and spirits. It had been the kind of day where the hours were too long, and the challenge unrewarding in light of the waterlogged boots and soggy clothes. It had been the kind of day Spy had found Sniper's nest far more times than he liked -- the BLU's dagger had left several new scars on his back.
But just as Spy had gotten to him a fourth time, he'd met a grisly end, likely getting some new scars of his own... and Sniper had Pyro to thank for that. Though he wasn't the type to express much gratitude -- after all, they were all blokes doing their jobs, so it wasn't as though it was a favor or anything -- he felt he did owed Pyro at least a word of thanks for watching his back. He didn't do a very good job of it himself some days, despite his claims to be an absolute professional, and the very best at that.
The rain had slowed by the time they got back to the base, but Sniper hadn't forgotten what he owed his fellow RED. Stopping by Pyro as he stepped inside, he took off his hat and used the moment to shake some of the water from it. "Thanks for back there, Pyro. Good to know a lad your age can still do a fair job."
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Not that he wanted Scout's mother, but it was women in general. He shook his head -- his mother's constant nagging that he find himself a mate was starting to get to him.
He'd hardly made nice with his team as it was: though cordial to them, Sniper tried to keep most of his contacts with RED under the 'strictly business' header. Sure, he was shot at day in and day out with the rest of them, and there was some small sense of camaraderie that came from that, but they weren't friends.
He realized he'd left Pyro with an awkward pause, and grumbled to himself. "Right. He doesn't watch my back, though."
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"Hey, you hungry? I'm starved. I was gonna make some crap, probably tacos and some bacon." That was indeed a weird mix of crap. "You can have some." Her eyes focused up on him and she was just as bright as ever. It was rare for her to be in a bad mood, she was living her dream after all.
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"Yeah," he agreed instantly, pausing as he saw Scout's face light up at the suggestion of tacos. He knew that look, and had an inkling that Pyro was trying to get away from the other lad before Scout grilled him regarding one of a dozen topics that no one wanted to share with him -- most of the topics would be about Scout himself, but occasionally, he got on tangents where he wanted to know the ins and outs of his fellow mercenaries' personal lives, especially regarding relationships. The reasoning was obvious: Scout himself had practically no experience with such things, and what experience he did have was questionable, at best. Thankfully for him, the rest of the REDs were polite enough to deflect his prodding at every turn.
Well, most of the REDs. Soldier had decided that education was a better idea than deflection, and sent Scout through a crash course in what he called "All-American Intercourse," complete with pictures and diagrams he'd made himself regarding how to please a woman. Medic, on the other hand, had actual photographs of peopled he'd dissected, as well as a few jarred organs from what he claimed to be a woman... or maybe a hyena. Sniper got the distinct feeling neither of them had Scout's actual interests in mind.
"We can take it to my camper," he added, giving Pyro a nudge with his elbow. "Got some, er. Things I wanted to talk about."
He gave the lad a look, his eyes trailing to Scout and back as if to say, away from him.
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Running a bit ahead of Sniper, she then stopped and pointed. "I'll go do it, won't take long. Why don't you feel free to go back to your home and wait." Was home good enough? She didn't mean it in a negative way. As she was a little scared to find out whether Sniper's lineface got even linefacer she headed towards the base and started to prepare the meal. Sometimes she felt she had to be so stern and even a little boring. Mimicking men was harder then it looked especially the speaking part. Certain verbal tics had to be erased completely and giggling--well, that was just out of the question. Laughing as loud as possible was better.
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Inwardly, that wasn't the truth at all. Sniper rubbed his head again, and turned for his van. He had at least a few minutes before Pyro would show up, he thought to himself. Best clean up a little, or at least make room for company.
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Sorry for the delay!
"It's Sniper," he corrected as he stepped aside, making room for Pyro to pass as he adjusted his hat, his eyes on the food rather than the cook.
Same here
Going over to the table and placing everything out, Pyro was a pretty good cook when it came to making food outside her country. She preferred the stuff anyways, it was more hearty. With everything spread out, she even set the napkins and drinks out neatly. It was out of habit, food was too enjoyable to just eat it without appreciating it.
"There. All ready!" Giving him a thumbs up, she sat down and waited for him. It would be polite to wait for him to dig in first. Until then, she was still all smiles. Maybe too friendly, the aura around Pyro could be blinding at times. She was a good girl.
I AM TRASH. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
"Right. Thanks, mate."
He opened himself a beer, trying to give himself another moment to think of what they could talk about. He wasn't much of a conversationalist, and while he had things on his mind, he wasn't sure they were subjects he wanted to discuss with a teammate.
"So, ah..." He glanced back to Pyro, that friendly smile off-putting in its own way. "Sorry. Don't get guests often."
Classic Pyro confirmed for woman OUR CHANCES ARE HIGHER THEN EVER, FUCK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
Taking a few bites, she chewed thoughtfully. "Still. I'm a little envious of you. I've been here for four years and I can't handle my shotgun properly yet. It's mere luck when I get someone with it. I'm just no good, I'm better at getting into close range--I don't think such a weapon suits a Pyro."
I WAS SO STOKED WHEN I SAW THAT.
There was a moment's pause as he thought about how that statement could be taken -- rudely -- so he clarified. "Though I guess ya gotta have something for when you can't use that flamethrower of yours."
Me too and I should be done being sloooooooooooowpoke
"The axe is fine. I'd preferably like to support you and Engie if I can instead of use a gun in times like those. That would be more useful." Taking another bite, she placed a hand on her scarred chin and threw something out that had been bugging her for awhile. "Maybe it's just me, but... do you ever feel we are actually fighting something? I don't really know if what we do even has a point." Pyro was probably just being a crazy tinfoil hat but that they did the same thing day in and day out and were permitted to respawn instead of just die was so strange.
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Scars told stories -- each of his own did, after all. Some were marks of victory, while others told tales of defeat. He wasn't proud of the ones on his back in the least, as all they said was that he'd been bested by too many Spies in his time with RED.
He felt his gut turn uncomfortably, and he licked the dryness from his lips as he cast his eyes away again. Why had he been staring? That wasn't proper, and he knew better. "I don't care if it's got a point," he replied finally, "so long as we're gettin' paid. S'just a job."
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"What's the point of having all that money? Life isn't fun if you can have whatever you want! You don't have anything to truly keep you going! As long as I have food, I don't mind giving the rest of my money away to people who really need it!" And that's what she did, at first she had burned a lot it but after seeing how money burned for the millionth time she thought of doing something unselfish and donating it to kids that probably had sad, poor lives like she did.
She wondered if that sounded like she was bragging and immediately apologized. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just sit around a lot and thought that if I could go what I want without being sent to the crazy house AND feed my belly, then my need for money was gone. Someone else can have that stuff." Yes, money was stuff. Stuff was a word that was uttered with no care in the world.
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"Awful altruistic, but I can't say I know many blokes who'd do that. I send most of mine to my parents. I don't need much money myself."
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"I really admire you. You are sweet." What type of guy called another guy sweet?
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He trailed off, bringing his eyes up and onto his teammate as his own chewing slowed. He feigned deafness, as what he thought he heard absolutely wasn't something he expected. "What's that?"
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"Oh. I don't know. Sorry, I'm pretty okay with this language but maybe I misused some word." Rubbing the back of her head, Pyro got a face redder then usual. It wasn't only her scars that were making her face that pink color anymore...
"Maybe I'm not as good with English as I thought. Hahahaha."
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It was the 'sweet' part that got him. English wasn't Pyro's first language, he reminded himself, trying to ignore how red the lad's face turned when he said that. The lad didn't strike him as the friendly sort, after all.
Not that Sniper wanted to think about being friendly. That was none of his business. He had no interest in that, or in what his teammates did in their leisure time. He had better standards than that.
"S'not the first time one of you blokes got lost in translation," he continued, trying to get his mind off the previous line of thought. "Can understand Spy half the bloody time as it is."
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Looking out the window, she made a vague gesture towards it. "Do you think you could hate your comrades now after being exposed to them so much? We may look a little different or speak different but what matters most--" She placed a hand on her heart. "is the same in all people."
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And it was something he didn't particularly want to think about. He'd been with RED for some years, and couldn't help that some of his comrades had worked their way under his skin. He'd been standoffish and a loner, but it was hard not to get at least a little attached to men you fought beside day in and day out. They might not have really died on the battlefield thanks to the respawn, but it certainly felt like they'd saved his life a time or two. While he wouldn't claim they were friends, he admittedly didn't mind their company at times, either.
Bah, attachments. Those were how the job got dangerous, and they were best left out of the workplace. He took a swig of his beer, keeping his eyes off Pyro, as though they'd betray him and tell the lad the truth. "I'm used to workin' alone. Prefer it that way."
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"I see... hm." Thinking back on how Sniper had saved her from Scout, she then decided that talking about pretty girls might be a safe bet in terms of what men liked. What guy didn't like girls? Except for those guys.
"So, have you seen any cute girls in town?" Pyro could tell a story or two about what her mistaken identity had done to females in the nearest town over. Some girl was always pinching her cheek or trying to kiss her while telling her how cute she was. Couldn't they use handsome instead? Cute wasn't what a girl trying to be a boy wanted to hear.
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"Nah," he answered plainly, setting his bottle on the table. "Not particularly looking, either."
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tempted to renew for icons now
I have already caved into temptation.
SAME
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Ooo, I dig the new journal style. :>
I used to do my own HTML but over like 10-15 years I just forgot everything. I want personalization
Yeah, same. I only know how to do a few things here and there.
AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT
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DW srsly just sent me this shit, my jimmies are rustled
DW we're going to have a long and serious talk about those notifs.
women confirmed, whole stomach for sweets.
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Sniper wished he got laid as much
Yes, yes he does. Sometimes.
pyro pls let sniper breathe
He's going to pass out and die. You just wait.
dammit pyro stop it dont ask a grown ass man to put his face inbetween your legs
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tfw Scout thinks he might be gay too
This is Pyro's true power.
CUTENESS POWER
Master of conversation, right here.
totes ps pls dont do it sniper dont be scout DONT BE THAT GUY
Hahahaha, he'll be lucky he can talk at all.
rofl this is not awkward lets talk about your cousin and me no homo btw
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is this their version of sex pyro is going to assume this is what manly bonding bromance is
Are we having fun? Is this how mercenaries have fun???
is this how comrades compliment each other not gayly... oh its gay? okay.
I LIVE. OH BOY HOW I'VE MISSED YOU
ohboyohboy same!
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thighsthighsthighsthighs
Sing that to Thomson Twins' "Lies" XD
:O
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sniper don't you dare misunderstand XD
Whoops, he misunderstood. :>
look at these two be lewd
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Pyro, don't. DON'T.
PYRO, DO.
Re: PYRO, DO.
/BODYSLAMS INTO THIS THREAD
Ohi
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