notintehkitchen | o hay I'm actually bein a dude lol Pyro x Sniper IT'S A TRAP

Pyro had gotten used to the years pretending she was a male for all intents and purposes, she had convinced herself to a fault that her female self had to be hidden away at all times in order to keep up the charade. It had worked so far and no one was the wiser. Sure, she might not look as masculine as the others but not every man was born super manly. She was still passable enough visually to look like a young man who would do better in a boy band on American Bandstand then on the battlefield.

Leaning against the base after a hard days work, Pyro smoked and listened to an always frantic Scout go on about Miss Pauling. It was a good thing she could just stare and nod, Scout loved to talk and if she had to give advice on girls she would be pulling shit so far out of her ass. Scout would probably take anything though. It was pretty cute how desperate he was for that woman to accept him and he was obvious, she could only assume that Miss Pauling was a smart enough lady to not mix work and pleasure. A good woman.

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From:

notintehkitchen

"I suppose maybe we should call it a blind date?" No, no, NOOOOOOOO. She had never been on a date in her life. All she had ever done was held hands with another man and that had been nerve-wrecking enough. Sure, now she grabbed people all the time but it was different because she didn't harbor romantic feelings towards them--Okay, FINE. Maybe Engineer, but she had lived with it because she assumed old men were probably married and there was never going to be a big reveal to the rest of the team.

Her mind was screaming while her heart told her to continue. It is for the good of another person! For a comrade! For a friend!

Beating at her chest once with a clenched fist, she continued to back off. It was going to be hard to get any of her friends in the small town to understand she wanted to dress like a woman for some reason and required a bra and stockings to go along with a dress. What about make-up?

She had not been a woman in four years. FOUR YEARS.

"Don't worry. Just be yourself. You know, you are pretty cool because you are all loner and mysterious like! That vibe! I think girls like something like that-- and when you play hard to get. Make it a game! Don't give in too easy!" Please shoot her now, she was the last one to give love advice.

From:

hasstandards

"S'not the same as bein' on the hunt," he noted, not wanting to think of it as a game in the least. He had to admit that it was odd for Pyro to be both complimenting him and giving him dating advice -- the lad was the last person he'd ever thought he'd be talking with about women, and yet, here they were. Pyro seemed so adamant he go on this date, too. Sniper sighed -- he did owe Pyro for watching his back, and he did want his mother to stop henpecking him about how he wasn't getting any younger and that he might like some people if he just tried to get to know them.

And well... Pyro's cousin did seem like a right beaut from the picture. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

He couldn't help but feel a little bolstered from Pyro's encouragement, too. "But you know? I shouldn't worry. S'just a woman. S'not as though it's anything serious. And maybe Mum'll get off my back if I tell her I went out with a girl."

He grinned, feeling better already. "Yeah. You go make yer call, and I'll set up somethin' for the weekend. Maybe Saturday."

From:

notintehkitchen

This was actually happening. A date with a comrade--but only for the greater good. She would pound that into her very being.

"G-great! So, I'll go off to do that." Rubbing at her short and uneven hair, she closed her eyes as she felt her cheeks glow from embarrassment. Romance was not Pyro's strong point. She had felt love and even loved a man, but she wasn't any good at it and could never expect to have a significant other.

Before he could say anything else, she headed towards the door with a dash while leaving a trail of a rather pleasantly flowery scent. This was one a man on the battlefield didn't have too often, she kept ridiculously clean for someone posing as a male. Some of her more feminine habits were harder to keep dead.

When she got away, she instantly headed to her room and flopped on the bed. Her breathing was hard and her face wouldn't stop it's stinging burn.

What had she gotten herself into?

From:

hasstandards

Sniper sighed again, heavily this time, as the door closed behind Pyro. He ran a hand through his hair as he felt himself redden with embarrassment, his skin betraying how he felt about this entire situation. He wasn't one for dates; dealing with people was very different than dealing with animals. People were an entirely different kind of beast, one he wasn't sure how to handle.

He'd had to learn how to deal with people upon joining RED: he'd spent years alone in the Outback, only caring about his own survival. It was easier that way. However, with RED, he had to work with a team. It went against his solitary nature, but the money was enough that he could adapt.

Still, people were foreign to him in many ways. He was working on it, little by little, year by year.

Finishing cleaning up after their meal, Sniper started digging through his clothes, trying to figure out what he would wear on this date. Or what would they do? Go out to eat? Kill something? Just how much of an outdoors girl was she? He was a hunter by both trade and nature, but he had a very different perception of the wild than most. He was freer there, able to be himself. He was the top predator -- the best.

And he was not those things in the world of courting.

He glanced at the calendar, his brow furrowing. Thursday. He still had two days to think of something, some way to get himself through this outing. Not just any outing, either -- a date with a teammate's cousin.

What had he gotten himself into?

Edited Date: 2015-09-21 08:23 am (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

Pyro had a busy rest of the week until Saturday trying to get everything together and take it inside the base without anyone questioning what was in all the bags. How she didn't get caught, she had no idea but by Friday night she had accomplished getting everything she would need to meet up with Sniper tomorrow.

A long black wig, plenty of make-up to cover her scars, black stockings that would hide the scars on her legs, a bra, a long sleeved dress, a pair of boots and a few pieces of jewelry. That was all she needed she was pretty sure as she ran a hand to the clip that controlled her voice and took it off to look at it.

With the door shut and the device in her palm, she spoke softly with her the voice that truly belonged to her. "Yeah. This is weird. My ears don't even recognize my own voice." With a sigh, she sat down on the bed and continued looking at the device. Turning it off for now, she decided to keep it with her just in case. She had to be prepared for an emergency.

If tomorrow would be anything, it would be a rush. A thrill. There was always that chance she could get recognized or caught. But that wouldn't happen because she was a professional in disguise. She was getting paid both to hide her identity and to kill. They should of been paying her double even if she didn't know what the hell she'd do with the money.

From:

hasstandards

In two days, Sniper had managed to acquire both a tie and a decent button-up shirt, courtesy of Engineer. While Sniper had considered asking Spy for help, he knew better than to ask for dating advice from a man whose trade was stealing secrets. He certainly didn't want the spook wondering just who it was he'd be courting for the evening. Besides that, they weren't friends -- just coworkers, and of his choices, Engineer was the better of the two when it came to minding his own business.

Though he had something to wear, he still hadn't a clue on how a date should go. He'd not been on one years -- he had to pause to think of how long it'd been, and it was at least a decade and a half any way he looked at it -- and even then, casual conversation wasn't really his forte. It'd be even harder with a complete stranger.

And a lovely one, too. He'd spent two days trying to scrub his mind of the girl in the photograph, but to no avail.

Saturday came, and his nervous habits along with it. He'd told Pyro that he'd set up a reservation for six o'clock at a very nice restaurant in the town nearby. It was the kind of place where the menus were mostly in French and one was expected to dress appropriately -- it was probably far too fancy for the occasion, but his choices were a bit limited around Sawmill.

Sniper arrived fifteen minutes prior, parking his camper and adjusting his tie for the umpteenth time. If he waited on the sidewalk, surely he'd see her and recognize her. Or maybe Pyro would have told her who to look for.

And if she didn't come at all, he could go back to the base and write this off as a foolish endeavor after all. At least he'd be able to say he tried.

From:

notintehkitchen

Pyro would show up on the sidewalk facing the road. Casting her gaze downwards, she immediately was surprised with the looks she got from men from walking all the way to where she had hid her motorcycle. This was how a woman was supposed to look like according to society. Pyro didn't mind girly clothes, but it felt when she was a woman that she was treated differently and not taken as seriously.

Running her hand through her long black hair as someone wolf-whistled at her, she perked up slightly and looked to see where the sound came from. It was just another civilian she didn't recognize. She didn't fear men. Even without a weapon she could kill the average man easily. They would be wrong in more ways then one to take advantage of her now that she had become sexy. A dress made entirely out of black lace that clung to her body, black stockings hiding her scars but complimenting her thick legs. She was a curvy girl, curvy might not be a strong enough word. She was a bit of a big girl, even she knew the truth. Men liked all sorts of women, it just depended on their tastes. She supposed her belt wrapped around her waist gave the illusion she was thinner and bustier then what was accurate. Of course, there was no way to hide her butt. In men's clothes she had always worn such baggy clothing to hide the futures of her body...

This is a little embarrassing... Biting her lip as she kicked at the ground, she pondered when her familiar date would pop up.

From:

hasstandards

The whistling and cat-calling drew Sniper's attention in the same way a rustle in the bushes would -- instinctively automatically. His mind, however, was elsewhere, ready and waiting for his date to arrive. It was only a second after he glanced down the sidewalk that he realized the commotion was caused by said date.

Well, at least he was pretty sure that was her. She was prettier than the picture had led him to expect: long, raven hair; heavier than the average woman, wearing stockings to show off the curves of her legs -- and she really did look quite a lot like her teammate.

He stomach leapt somewhere into his throat -- she was much more attractive than he wanted to admit, especially since he was still against the entire prospect of dating. He was there because he didn't want to disappoint a teammate whom he owed a favor or two. That was all.

Not that that stoicism came across as he waved her over, a nervous smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

From:

notintehkitchen

Ah, hell. Here went nothing. If anything, she knew how to act the role of the proper young lady. Her parents had wanted her to become a Yamato Nadeshiko; The Perfect Japanese Woman. As much as she loathed all the training she was put through it did have it's uses. As a women of Asia, her looks were quite exotic but blended strangely with her westernization in clothing. She accepted all parts of the world and saw no point in clinging only to her home country's ideals.

Sniper's footsteps were natural to her ears. Every one of her teammates walked a certain way and she had picked up on their movements to a precision. It helped during battle more than one could think. Spy-checking tended to be easily if the walk wasn't perfect or the way the impostor mercenary held himself.

Waving back at him, she smiled and headed on over. The voice changer she had double-checked to make sure was off and for now, her real voice was about to shine through. "Hello! You must be my cousin's friend and co-worker." Placing a bawled up fist underneath her chin, she tilted her head cutely and blinked. "I guess he didn't lie! You really are handsome!" She would brush Sniper's ego, but with her eyes focused on being a woman the idea that Sniper had a nice outer appeareance wasn't a lie. She liked when could avoid lying while already lying. She wanted to be as truthful to his feelings as possible.

From:

hasstandards

Pyro could consider his ego brushed regardless; he fumbled with his hat as she greeted him, covering his face so he couldn't feel her eyes on him.

"Er." God, he did not know how to talk to women. He could talk to his mother, and Miss Pauling was another matter entirely, but when one was right before him, calling him handsome when he couldn't even think of a proper word to describe her?

This was all in his head, he reminded himself. He had no business dating, and definitely no business dating a coworker's relative, and she looked a fair deal younger than he was. What was he doing here?

"We're not friends," he managed to muster after a few seconds of dumbfounded silence, falling back on familiar phrases to give him some comfort. "I mean -- business associates, is all. Teammates."

Yep. This was going well.

From:

notintehkitchen

"Is that so?" Inside she was a little hurt. A Pyro should be special to a Sniper especially when they did a pretty great job watching his back. She couldn't show her anger or her sadness so instead she reached out her hand and smiled despite the pain.

"I'm sure my cousin thinks highly of you to set you up with me. He wouldn't do this type of thing so casually..." Realizing she needed a name, a Japanese one and that she lacked all originality she quickly continued. "I'm Momoko." Good job, adding just ko to the end, I'm such an idiot.. Hopefully he wouldn't want to know the name of the Pyro he worked with or she'd be in a lot of trouble. "I know you two go by work names and that it's dangerous stuff. So, I don't mind if you give me a fake name." Actually, she expected it.

She was so good at this date stuff. NAILING IT.

From:

hasstandards

His hand went from his hat to the back of his head, rubbing some inkling of guilt away. Now he definitely needed to do his best on this date, especially since Pyro had apparently taken his offer very seriously. Sniper couldn't back out now, either: his pride wouldn't let him.

And honestly, he'd let down his teammate before his own pride. He only had to deal with one of those for the rest of his life, after all.

"Sniper," he offered immediately, wondering in the instant that followed if he should have given her some semblance of a real name. He decided against it -- this was just a date, and he didn't want her telling her cousin his real name by accident. A name was a dangerous thing in his line of work, as he'd found out the moment the company had threatened his parents to keep him from discussing his contract.

A fake name was easier. Less attachment. "Just Sniper is fine," he concluded, taking her hand and giving it a shake. " I, er. Got us a reservation, if ya don't mind dinner."

Edited Date: 2015-09-25 08:42 am (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

"Sniper! Okay then, I take it that is some sort of work name." She giggled and shook his hand back firmly. Momoko had just as strong an aura that gave off that Pyro did. Both were similar in their friendliness and the likeness in looks was rather uncanny. Blame that on genes--or lies.

When he mentioned dinner her eyes lit up and she stood on her tip toes like a child and looked up at him with big hopeful eyes. "I love dinner! I love food! Okay, but I'm not going to eat like some delicate maiden. Sorry but one of my loves in life is food. I don't do salads." Getting closer to his side, she tried to make it obvious just how friendly she was by reaching for his arm and holding it. In comparison to Sniper, Momoko did look and indeed act like a child. Pyro had said the high school photo of her was only a few years old and she certainly hadn't been lying. It looked like she didn't mind being in the company of a much older man.

From:

hasstandards

Sniper's immediate inclination was to move away as she held onto his arm -- it wasn't that he was opposed to it, so much as he just wasn't used to having a woman hang onto him like that. If he was perfectly honest, he wasn't used to getting much attention as it was -- he was considered abnormal in Australia, and ever since he'd arrived in the States, he'd focused on his career. His job required him to remain out of sight, away from the attention focused on the battlefield, and he preferred it that way.

Not that this was bad, of course. He tried his best to not look as out of his element as he was as he headed for the restaurant with her. "Good. Great. Aces, even. I don't got much to, er. I mean, I've got plenty, so you can get what ya like. Don't go on dates much."

Or ever. Ever was closer to the truth. He held the door open for her, trying to be a gentleman.

From:

notintehkitchen

"I apologize. I do not intend to be selfish. I can pay." Momoko then repeated something very similar to that of his comrade. "I am not after money. In fact, I do not want you to feel you must pay for me. If I liked someone just for being rich, I doubt I could call myself a decent human being." The tone of her voice had been both serious and underlined with a hint of sadness. Observing Sniper fully, she thought it was possible he assumed a woman might only want him for his wealth.

Deciding she should keep her friendly smile and revert back to her chipper tone as soon as possible, Momoko squeezed his arm lightly into the front of her frame as she spoke. "But thank you... Sniper. I can tell you are a gentlemen. I'm lucky to be able to meet you."

Edited Date: 2015-09-26 07:41 pm (UTC)

From:

hasstandards

"S'not that I thought that," he returned quickly. "If a sheila wanted money, she could do better. S'just that I, er..."

He trailed off, feeling himself redden as she squeezed her arm against her chest. He fumbled with his hat, reluctant to take it off even though they were indoors. The concierge greeted them both, asking if they had a reservation.

Sniper managed to mumble something about six o'clock under "Mundy." The host looked down his list, eyeing them both for another moment before he managed to find the name. He motioned for them to follow him to their booth, grabbing a couple of menus before he took off.

Sniper motioned for Pyro to lead the way, not sure if he could bring himself to wrench his arm from her. He had been taught to let ladies go first. Despite having spent decades hunting in the wilderness, he still knew his basic manners.

From:

notintehkitchen

He didn't seem to take himself too highly when it came to women. Strange. Was that ego of his only good on the battlefield? He wasn't ugly. Not at all, really. Definitively not ugly. As she was going to think on the topic of looks she found herself interrupted by what might of been his name. Her ears were pretty good but she hadn't been entirely paying attention. Mentally cursing, she then started to move. God this place was fancy.

Wasn't super rich people food not very filling? This wasn't the crap where they brought out one plate at a time with a bite on each plate, was it? As easy as her life would be now, she didn't get the idea of eating overpriced food that wasn't very good just so you felt better than everyone else. Sniper most likely took her here to impress her. Aaaannnd there went another negative thing she had to keep down. He didn't know how to date so he was just as clueless as she was for the most part.

When they got to the table, Pyro sat down and crossed her legs. This is for my dear comrade. I'll boost his ego some. He deserves to feel better then Scout does about women at the very least!

From:

hasstandards

Sniper slid into the seat across from Momoko, thanking the host and taking his menu, glad to have something to hide behind as he finally removed his hat and set it beside him. He tried to smooth his hair out as he glanced over their options for dinner... only to realize most of the menu was in French.

He swore under his breath, his teeth clenched as he tried to keep his voice inaudible. "Bloody Spy. Knew I shouldn't've trusted him to suggest a restaurant."

From:

notintehkitchen

"Oh. Ummm...." She looked at the menu and did realize that there was indeed a lot of French words. Sniper was familiar in a way to most Western men and that he only knew one language. Granted he knew English but it was a variation and one of many. He seemed to understand a lot of American slang and even Engineer's southern accent. To be honest, Sniper would always be better at speaking the language then her.

Pyro shook her head.

"Oh. Did you know that a lot of words from France are words we use in English everyday?" She tried to smooth over the situation as she pointed things out on the menu. "For example, I'm sure you've heard of these ones: sauté, resumé, protégé, potpourri, petite, naïve, matinée, liaison, genre, fiancée, faux pas, façade, entrepreneur, en route, en masse, encore, deja vu, decor, debut, debacle, coup, chef, boutique, cafe, bouqet and even ballet! Let's not forget even more food words we would use right this very time!" The server man had been so impressed he was already patting her head like one would do to a kid. It was difficult not to when such a young girl talked so enthusiastically and with a rather impressive knowledge of words that weren't her native tongue. "Oh, Oh! Hahaha... Restaurant and Menu and hors d’œuvres!" Placing her hands together and winking up at the man who was their server and quite obviously French, she giggled.

"I know hors d’œuvres don't technically count Cream puffs and that would be a dessert but could we start off with something sweet? Pretty please?" Annnd the man was already off gleefully accepting Pyro's cuteness and politeness to go fill in their order.

From:

hasstandards

Sniper sat silently through Momoko's explanation, his eyes darting from her, to the waiter, to the menu, then to the door. On his face crept a wrinkle of discomfort, one that etched its way into his cheek and down to his mouth, which had formed a very tight, yet very slight frown.

No, this date hadn't been a good idea at all, had it?

"Er..." He shifted in his seat as the waiter wandered off to fetch her a dessert. "You, um. Like sweets."

It was an astute observation from a man who looked unbelievably overwhelmed by the situation he'd gotten himself into.

From:

notintehkitchen

Turning her gaze to Sniper, she beamed and answered with a overly perky voice. "I got a whole stomach just for sweets!" Whenever food was involved there was cause for excitement. Pyro knew for certain she would like cream puffs. Just thinking of such a delicious yet unhealthy dessert made her mouth water.

"They really are quite good. Nothing weird." In Western terms, she assumed at the very least. "Just yummy sweet cream and delicious bread and sometimes they put chocolate on them. Hee-hee!" Placing her hands on her cheeks, she was like an excited child.

Pyro had knowledge of French desserts. Considering Pyro was a fan of food in general, it wasn't surprising--that is if Sniper would of known it was Pyro in front of him and not this Momoko.

Soon, a large plate was brought out with several cream puffs along with two smaller plates to set them on for each of them. Pyro took one in both of her hands and begin to munch on it in small bites with her mouth closed.

Edited Date: 2015-10-07 08:29 am (UTC)

From:

hasstandards

Waiting for his date to take one first, Sniper got a cream puff for himself, sniffing it before taking a bite. It wasn't bad, but it was definitely too sweet for his liking.

Still, he nodded in polite approval, remembering his manners. "S'not really my thing, but I can see why you like these. They're, er..."

He watched her chew on her own dessert for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Words, among many things related to dating, were not his strong point.

From:

notintehkitchen

"Delicious? Amazing? Fantastic?" Despite saying it wasn't his thing, Pyro chimed in as she continued to eat. Between bites she did chatter away, something she was excellent at doing.

"So, what do you think about my cousin?" On the inside, she knew she was being a little selfish asking Sniper his opinion on her when she was right in front of him unknowingly. Having to put up with all of this to make her comrade feel better though she should of gotten a little reward. Sniper was a man, he could take this. It wasn't like he was ever going to figure out the truth about her anyways.

From:

hasstandards

"Yer—" He stopped, remembering through the haze of nervousness that yes, it was his coworker and her cousin who had set him up on this date to begin with. This was clearly Pyro's fault.

Not that saying that would impress Momoko, and given how lovely she was, he really did want to impress her, despite himself -- or at the very least, not make himself look like a complete fool.

"I don't know the lad all that well, honestly," he admitted. "We work together, but he and I do different jobs. I'm an assassin, and he's..."

Sniper fumbled for a word, as he was unsure of whether or not Momoko knew what her cousin did for a living. To be fair, it was safer he kept the details scant, given the stipulations of their contracts. "He specializes in keepin' the pest population around our base down."

That seemed truthful enough -- after all, Spies were the epitome of pesky.

Edited Date: 2015-10-07 07:26 pm (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

Ohoho. He was trying to be crafty with how to put what her job was despite the fact they were given titles? Sniper wasn't too good at talking to normal people. "I see." With the cream puff finished, Pyro resisted the urge to lick her hands and instead took a napkin and cleaned them off.

"You are given such strange yet specific sounding names." And he just admitted he was an assassin. Now, a normal girl would react differently. But how should she put it? Maybe she should play it off dumb even though anyone with half a brain would know an assassin meant he killed people.

"So..." Her eyes got big and hopeful. "You are like James Bond?!" It was hard to tell if her question was sincere or teasing.