notintehkitchen | o hay I'm actually bein a dude lol Pyro x Sniper IT'S A TRAP

Pyro had gotten used to the years pretending she was a male for all intents and purposes, she had convinced herself to a fault that her female self had to be hidden away at all times in order to keep up the charade. It had worked so far and no one was the wiser. Sure, she might not look as masculine as the others but not every man was born super manly. She was still passable enough visually to look like a young man who would do better in a boy band on American Bandstand then on the battlefield.

Leaning against the base after a hard days work, Pyro smoked and listened to an always frantic Scout go on about Miss Pauling. It was a good thing she could just stare and nod, Scout loved to talk and if she had to give advice on girls she would be pulling shit so far out of her ass. Scout would probably take anything though. It was pretty cute how desperate he was for that woman to accept him and he was obvious, she could only assume that Miss Pauling was a smart enough lady to not mix work and pleasure. A good woman.

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From:

hasstandards

Pyro could consider his ego brushed regardless; he fumbled with his hat as she greeted him, covering his face so he couldn't feel her eyes on him.

"Er." God, he did not know how to talk to women. He could talk to his mother, and Miss Pauling was another matter entirely, but when one was right before him, calling him handsome when he couldn't even think of a proper word to describe her?

This was all in his head, he reminded himself. He had no business dating, and definitely no business dating a coworker's relative, and she looked a fair deal younger than he was. What was he doing here?

"We're not friends," he managed to muster after a few seconds of dumbfounded silence, falling back on familiar phrases to give him some comfort. "I mean -- business associates, is all. Teammates."

Yep. This was going well.

From:

notintehkitchen

"Is that so?" Inside she was a little hurt. A Pyro should be special to a Sniper especially when they did a pretty great job watching his back. She couldn't show her anger or her sadness so instead she reached out her hand and smiled despite the pain.

"I'm sure my cousin thinks highly of you to set you up with me. He wouldn't do this type of thing so casually..." Realizing she needed a name, a Japanese one and that she lacked all originality she quickly continued. "I'm Momoko." Good job, adding just ko to the end, I'm such an idiot.. Hopefully he wouldn't want to know the name of the Pyro he worked with or she'd be in a lot of trouble. "I know you two go by work names and that it's dangerous stuff. So, I don't mind if you give me a fake name." Actually, she expected it.

She was so good at this date stuff. NAILING IT.

From:

hasstandards

His hand went from his hat to the back of his head, rubbing some inkling of guilt away. Now he definitely needed to do his best on this date, especially since Pyro had apparently taken his offer very seriously. Sniper couldn't back out now, either: his pride wouldn't let him.

And honestly, he'd let down his teammate before his own pride. He only had to deal with one of those for the rest of his life, after all.

"Sniper," he offered immediately, wondering in the instant that followed if he should have given her some semblance of a real name. He decided against it -- this was just a date, and he didn't want her telling her cousin his real name by accident. A name was a dangerous thing in his line of work, as he'd found out the moment the company had threatened his parents to keep him from discussing his contract.

A fake name was easier. Less attachment. "Just Sniper is fine," he concluded, taking her hand and giving it a shake. " I, er. Got us a reservation, if ya don't mind dinner."

Edited Date: 2015-09-25 08:42 am (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

"Sniper! Okay then, I take it that is some sort of work name." She giggled and shook his hand back firmly. Momoko had just as strong an aura that gave off that Pyro did. Both were similar in their friendliness and the likeness in looks was rather uncanny. Blame that on genes--or lies.

When he mentioned dinner her eyes lit up and she stood on her tip toes like a child and looked up at him with big hopeful eyes. "I love dinner! I love food! Okay, but I'm not going to eat like some delicate maiden. Sorry but one of my loves in life is food. I don't do salads." Getting closer to his side, she tried to make it obvious just how friendly she was by reaching for his arm and holding it. In comparison to Sniper, Momoko did look and indeed act like a child. Pyro had said the high school photo of her was only a few years old and she certainly hadn't been lying. It looked like she didn't mind being in the company of a much older man.

From:

hasstandards

Sniper's immediate inclination was to move away as she held onto his arm -- it wasn't that he was opposed to it, so much as he just wasn't used to having a woman hang onto him like that. If he was perfectly honest, he wasn't used to getting much attention as it was -- he was considered abnormal in Australia, and ever since he'd arrived in the States, he'd focused on his career. His job required him to remain out of sight, away from the attention focused on the battlefield, and he preferred it that way.

Not that this was bad, of course. He tried his best to not look as out of his element as he was as he headed for the restaurant with her. "Good. Great. Aces, even. I don't got much to, er. I mean, I've got plenty, so you can get what ya like. Don't go on dates much."

Or ever. Ever was closer to the truth. He held the door open for her, trying to be a gentleman.

From:

notintehkitchen

"I apologize. I do not intend to be selfish. I can pay." Momoko then repeated something very similar to that of his comrade. "I am not after money. In fact, I do not want you to feel you must pay for me. If I liked someone just for being rich, I doubt I could call myself a decent human being." The tone of her voice had been both serious and underlined with a hint of sadness. Observing Sniper fully, she thought it was possible he assumed a woman might only want him for his wealth.

Deciding she should keep her friendly smile and revert back to her chipper tone as soon as possible, Momoko squeezed his arm lightly into the front of her frame as she spoke. "But thank you... Sniper. I can tell you are a gentlemen. I'm lucky to be able to meet you."

Edited Date: 2015-09-26 07:41 pm (UTC)

From:

hasstandards

"S'not that I thought that," he returned quickly. "If a sheila wanted money, she could do better. S'just that I, er..."

He trailed off, feeling himself redden as she squeezed her arm against her chest. He fumbled with his hat, reluctant to take it off even though they were indoors. The concierge greeted them both, asking if they had a reservation.

Sniper managed to mumble something about six o'clock under "Mundy." The host looked down his list, eyeing them both for another moment before he managed to find the name. He motioned for them to follow him to their booth, grabbing a couple of menus before he took off.

Sniper motioned for Pyro to lead the way, not sure if he could bring himself to wrench his arm from her. He had been taught to let ladies go first. Despite having spent decades hunting in the wilderness, he still knew his basic manners.

From:

notintehkitchen

He didn't seem to take himself too highly when it came to women. Strange. Was that ego of his only good on the battlefield? He wasn't ugly. Not at all, really. Definitively not ugly. As she was going to think on the topic of looks she found herself interrupted by what might of been his name. Her ears were pretty good but she hadn't been entirely paying attention. Mentally cursing, she then started to move. God this place was fancy.

Wasn't super rich people food not very filling? This wasn't the crap where they brought out one plate at a time with a bite on each plate, was it? As easy as her life would be now, she didn't get the idea of eating overpriced food that wasn't very good just so you felt better than everyone else. Sniper most likely took her here to impress her. Aaaannnd there went another negative thing she had to keep down. He didn't know how to date so he was just as clueless as she was for the most part.

When they got to the table, Pyro sat down and crossed her legs. This is for my dear comrade. I'll boost his ego some. He deserves to feel better then Scout does about women at the very least!

From:

hasstandards

Sniper slid into the seat across from Momoko, thanking the host and taking his menu, glad to have something to hide behind as he finally removed his hat and set it beside him. He tried to smooth his hair out as he glanced over their options for dinner... only to realize most of the menu was in French.

He swore under his breath, his teeth clenched as he tried to keep his voice inaudible. "Bloody Spy. Knew I shouldn't've trusted him to suggest a restaurant."

From:

notintehkitchen

"Oh. Ummm...." She looked at the menu and did realize that there was indeed a lot of French words. Sniper was familiar in a way to most Western men and that he only knew one language. Granted he knew English but it was a variation and one of many. He seemed to understand a lot of American slang and even Engineer's southern accent. To be honest, Sniper would always be better at speaking the language then her.

Pyro shook her head.

"Oh. Did you know that a lot of words from France are words we use in English everyday?" She tried to smooth over the situation as she pointed things out on the menu. "For example, I'm sure you've heard of these ones: sauté, resumé, protégé, potpourri, petite, naïve, matinée, liaison, genre, fiancée, faux pas, façade, entrepreneur, en route, en masse, encore, deja vu, decor, debut, debacle, coup, chef, boutique, cafe, bouqet and even ballet! Let's not forget even more food words we would use right this very time!" The server man had been so impressed he was already patting her head like one would do to a kid. It was difficult not to when such a young girl talked so enthusiastically and with a rather impressive knowledge of words that weren't her native tongue. "Oh, Oh! Hahaha... Restaurant and Menu and hors d’œuvres!" Placing her hands together and winking up at the man who was their server and quite obviously French, she giggled.

"I know hors d’œuvres don't technically count Cream puffs and that would be a dessert but could we start off with something sweet? Pretty please?" Annnd the man was already off gleefully accepting Pyro's cuteness and politeness to go fill in their order.

From:

hasstandards

Sniper sat silently through Momoko's explanation, his eyes darting from her, to the waiter, to the menu, then to the door. On his face crept a wrinkle of discomfort, one that etched its way into his cheek and down to his mouth, which had formed a very tight, yet very slight frown.

No, this date hadn't been a good idea at all, had it?

"Er..." He shifted in his seat as the waiter wandered off to fetch her a dessert. "You, um. Like sweets."

It was an astute observation from a man who looked unbelievably overwhelmed by the situation he'd gotten himself into.

From:

notintehkitchen

Turning her gaze to Sniper, she beamed and answered with a overly perky voice. "I got a whole stomach just for sweets!" Whenever food was involved there was cause for excitement. Pyro knew for certain she would like cream puffs. Just thinking of such a delicious yet unhealthy dessert made her mouth water.

"They really are quite good. Nothing weird." In Western terms, she assumed at the very least. "Just yummy sweet cream and delicious bread and sometimes they put chocolate on them. Hee-hee!" Placing her hands on her cheeks, she was like an excited child.

Pyro had knowledge of French desserts. Considering Pyro was a fan of food in general, it wasn't surprising--that is if Sniper would of known it was Pyro in front of him and not this Momoko.

Soon, a large plate was brought out with several cream puffs along with two smaller plates to set them on for each of them. Pyro took one in both of her hands and begin to munch on it in small bites with her mouth closed.

Edited Date: 2015-10-07 08:29 am (UTC)

From:

hasstandards

Waiting for his date to take one first, Sniper got a cream puff for himself, sniffing it before taking a bite. It wasn't bad, but it was definitely too sweet for his liking.

Still, he nodded in polite approval, remembering his manners. "S'not really my thing, but I can see why you like these. They're, er..."

He watched her chew on her own dessert for a moment, trying to think of what to say. Words, among many things related to dating, were not his strong point.

From:

notintehkitchen

"Delicious? Amazing? Fantastic?" Despite saying it wasn't his thing, Pyro chimed in as she continued to eat. Between bites she did chatter away, something she was excellent at doing.

"So, what do you think about my cousin?" On the inside, she knew she was being a little selfish asking Sniper his opinion on her when she was right in front of him unknowingly. Having to put up with all of this to make her comrade feel better though she should of gotten a little reward. Sniper was a man, he could take this. It wasn't like he was ever going to figure out the truth about her anyways.

From:

hasstandards

"Yer—" He stopped, remembering through the haze of nervousness that yes, it was his coworker and her cousin who had set him up on this date to begin with. This was clearly Pyro's fault.

Not that saying that would impress Momoko, and given how lovely she was, he really did want to impress her, despite himself -- or at the very least, not make himself look like a complete fool.

"I don't know the lad all that well, honestly," he admitted. "We work together, but he and I do different jobs. I'm an assassin, and he's..."

Sniper fumbled for a word, as he was unsure of whether or not Momoko knew what her cousin did for a living. To be fair, it was safer he kept the details scant, given the stipulations of their contracts. "He specializes in keepin' the pest population around our base down."

That seemed truthful enough -- after all, Spies were the epitome of pesky.

Edited Date: 2015-10-07 07:26 pm (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

Ohoho. He was trying to be crafty with how to put what her job was despite the fact they were given titles? Sniper wasn't too good at talking to normal people. "I see." With the cream puff finished, Pyro resisted the urge to lick her hands and instead took a napkin and cleaned them off.

"You are given such strange yet specific sounding names." And he just admitted he was an assassin. Now, a normal girl would react differently. But how should she put it? Maybe she should play it off dumb even though anyone with half a brain would know an assassin meant he killed people.

"So..." Her eyes got big and hopeful. "You are like James Bond?!" It was hard to tell if her question was sincere or teasing.

From:

hasstandards

"James Bond?" he asked. "That bloke from the film? He's more like Spy than me."

And he meant that on several levels: for one, it was more of Spy's job to steal the intelligence than it was his -- he wouldn't be caught dead trying to run into an enclosed space for a briefcase. That wasn't what he specialized in.

Secondly -- and not that he'd seen the movie, of course, or would admit to having seen it -- both Bond and Spy had gadgets they relied on. Sniping was about skill, not about what toys one had to make up for talent.

And third, well... both Spy and Bond had a way with women. Sniper certainly didn't, if the way he shifted nervously in his seat whenever he looked across the table at his date was any indication. She was younger than him, and probably should be looking for someone more her age, but he couldn't stop looking at her, stealing glances to take in her features.

From:

notintehkitchen

"Hmmm. But your job is secretive is it not? And I mean--you are certainly just as handsome." Pyro was throwing those compliments in his face. Watching Sniper react and fidget about to a woman was almost too cute. If she pinched his cheeks and told him she wanted to take him home she would probably ruin his life forever. It wasn't very cute when a grown woman said things to a grown man like that--usually.

To be honest, she had to admit deep down she was flattered with the way she was gawked at. Apparently she was still female if reading Sniper's movements and face told her anything. Granted she was using quite a bit of make-up to cover her scars but other then that... most of her, was indeed all her. Hah, if she could see her Mom right now she bet she'd be fuming. No man is ever going to want a childish tomboy like you. Psssh.

"It's quite hard for me not to want to cuddle you." Was cuddling okay? Did grown-ups say cuddle? She bet if she nuzzled her cheek against his chin it would tickle from his whiskers.

From:

hasstandards

Pyro's words hit their mark: he turned as red as his work shirt as she called him handsome, and couldn't help that smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. With his hat in the seat beside him, he had nowhere to hide but behind his menu. He took a deep breath back there, trying to settle his nerves and not look as flustered as he was because an attractive woman was flirting with him. Him. Not Spy, not Demoman, not the mustached bloke next to him -- him.

He didn't even get to process what she said next as the waiter arrived to take their dinner orders. Given the conversation, Sniper hadn't taken much of a look at the menu -- his solution was to point to something that sounded vaguely appealing in the French language and hope that he wouldn't choke on it when it arrived.

He also needed water. Lots of water, please. The waiter nodded, smiling to himself at Sniper's crimson color as he turned to take Pyro's order, letting her date hide another moment.

From:

notintehkitchen

Blinking as Sniper remained quiet, she was curious if she said something off-putting? He looked weird but was it in a bad way? He was so red. Hopefully that was from blushing and not something else.

As she was about to ask him if he was okay, she then saw the waiter and began to put her order down. Mainly? More desserts. That seemed safe. When finished, she decided she'd ask if she was being an okay date. Wait. That was probably not a thing you should ask on an actual date.

This was pretty awkward.

Waiting until Sniper would finish his order, she finally got back to talking.

"Um. Are you... feeling alright? You are all red and stuff. You can put your head in my lap if you want."

From:

hasstandards

He looked absolutely feverish as he finally emerged from behind his menu, handing it to the waiter with a word of thanks as he adjusted his tie for the umpteenth time. The other man was thankfully aware of his plight, and grabbed a glass of water from a passing waitress, handing it to Sniper. He looked like he needed it.

And he definitely did. He downed half of it as the waiter walked away, only to nearly spit it out as Pyro questioned him.

Oh, and she offered to let him put her head in his lap. He wasn't sure what that meant, or if there was something lost in translation, but his embarrassment was evident all the same.

He choked on the water in his throat, barely getting it down as he rasped: "What?"

Edited Date: 2015-10-14 07:20 am (UTC)

From:

notintehkitchen

"Uh!" What did she say wrong? It didn't sound wrong to her and yet this reaction of his was the worst yet. "It was merely a suggestion, you don't have to. I'm worried about you because--well..." Fidgeting a bit in her chair, she poked her fingertips together. "You don't seem so well. Look, I'm sorry... did I do something bad?" And with that her eyes got big and watery. Pyro looked as if she were some sort of puppy dog afraid it was in trouble, she just needed the ears and the tail.

"Or maybe... I'm not you type..."

From:

hasstandards

Sniper cringed as she looked at him, her eyes bleary, her posture apologetic despite having done nothing wrong. "Wh— no, it's not anything you did! I mean, what you asked was, er."

He shook his head, words tangling together in his mind to the point where he couldn't think straight. Gritting his teeth, he bit back his nerves, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided her gaze.

"It's not you." He sighed heavily, wishing he didn't feel so foolish, but knowing he'd only make things worse if he didn't come clean. "I know you're only here because your cousin asked you to come. I'm just... I'm not... real experienced with dates. Not used to a beaut like you callin' me handsome rather than the next bloke."

From:

notintehkitchen

She wasn't too good at this date thing either. When she got deep and personal with her own comrade she couldn't say a lot of her info was helping her make this date run any smoother. When he denied his looks again, she sighed before placing her hands on her upper thighs and looking down.

Acknowledging and then repeating her own opinions on Sniper's looks was way more difficult then it looked. Just calling him handsome hadn't been enough? What would the average, flirty type of girl who had every man under their thumb do? Pyro wasn't a seductress and going beyond anything but cute with her youthful and childish face was not going to happen.

"Fine. Do you want to go some place private so I can prove to you how handsome you are?" Her words were straight and sounded like she wasn't joking. Whatever her intention if he said yes, she didn't know. Then again, she wasn't counting on him saying yes.

Deep down, Sniper was a gentlemen just like Engineer. She trusted in that.

From:

hasstandards

Momoko might not have known what she'd do if he said yes, but Sniper had no idea how to respond in the first place. There was a first time for everything, and he had to say this was definitely the first time a woman had come onto him so... strongly.

Well, maybe they'd tried before, but he hadn't been as interested in them as he was in her. He hadn't put much stock into relationships: they held him back from his career, could be used against him, and in all honesty, he never saw himself as the type who would settle down anyway, much to his mum's dismay. And yet, here he was, in a restaurant with a lovely lady, all dressed up himself and trying to impress her as he struggled to maintain even the barest of conversation. The fact that she was easy on his eyes was a shame, given she was related to a coworker and really ought not get mixed up with a professional assassin like himself.

"Er..." He swallowed hard as he ran a hand through his hair. "No, it's, um. Hn."

That wasn't exactly the response he'd been working on, so he tried again.

"I'll be honest... the problem is that I probably shouldn't've come on this date in the first place. I don't know what I'm doing here."