notintehkitchen | [Public][Text] #2 Sniper

Has he done something wrong?

[She nearly typed in "again", before she quickly deleted the first few letters and sent the message.]

You could say that. That man got angry over me wanting him to go get me a cute pet piranha! I offered him cigarettes, sake and decaf coffee in exchange too.

[The joys of texting, Miss Pauling. The joys of texting indeed.]

Are there piranhas in Paradise? I do not think Sniper would get angry over an offer like that though, especially if you're offering coffee and cigarettes. What did you say, exactly?

[Yes. At least Pyro can't see how amused Miss Pauling looks.]

I don't know, maybe! I thought he could take a look for me since he was going hiking!

[You can't tell she's pouting over text but she is.]

I didn't say anything mean.

Perhaps then there is a misunderstanding.

It is in our nature to hate each other.

Sniper is not a bad person. He is just very different from you. I don't think he hates you.

You don't have to tell me that. I became well aware to that fact the moment I had my first glass of jarate thrown at me.

If he really hated you, he would have killed you, not answer your calls, or talk to you. As it stands, he's actually of the opinion that you hate him and that you'd set him on fire the moment you see him.

If it isn't too much, I'd like to ask why you're threatening to kill him if he doesn't accept your gift?

What a weakling. He can't even solve his own damn problems without whining to someone else.

No. I don't want to talk about it.

He only spoke about them because I asked.

Whatever's going on between the two of you, I'd just like to request that the killing be kept to a minimum, at least until we get the Respawn working properly?

No.

Now you listen to me, Miss Pauling. There will never be a respawn system that works like ours back home. We are just like everyone else here, you even more so. If you die, you'll die for good with a small chance you'll come back missing something important to you.

As someone who has been here for a year, I speak from experience and seeing it with my own two eyes.

[Oh Pyro, she is so tempted to lay it on you. Thank God this is text; she takes a deep breath and continues typing.]

Then don't resort to death threats. If you know the Respawn here is faulty and that death comes with a price, then using death threats isn't going to endear others to you.

I would really just appreciate it if you stop threatening to kill him. I can't stop you, but I'm asking you to consider that threatening to kill someone isn't the most effective way of talking to them.

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notintehkitchen.livejournal.com - 2012-02-05 15:47 (UTC) - Expand

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notintehkitchen.livejournal.com - 2012-02-05 17:16 (UTC) - Expand

Fine. Where do you want me to go?

*At the very least he could check out the respawn first hand. Help that Sashimi kid out. Or was it Saturn.... maybe Sasha.*

Come to my house.

[She promises it doesn't smell like sex in here. No sex happened at all. The kids interrupted that so don't worry BLU, your BFF RED will always be cockblocked.]

If you're planning on killing me, make sure someone feeds my dog.

*He heads over, leaving the crocadog at home so Pyro doesn't get a chunk taken out of her. He's got his bow strung across his back and a quiver of arrows. Better to be safe than sorry in case she wants some kind of showdown.*

Don't worry, I'll take him in.

[Another child? Consider it adopted.

Pyro will be waiting for you patiently by the door when you arrive.]

Alroight. I'm here.

*He stops a good ways from the door and folds his arms, waiting to be attacked.*

[Hey, she's sneaky. As a Pyro, if she is going to attack it won't be that obvious.

Coming to the door, Pyro opened it and peeked outside in her nightgown. The green blob that both Snipers despised rested on one of her shoulders as she turned and looked over at him.]

Good. There's something I've been meaning to give you. I think you'll like it. Come in?

*He stared at her before following into the house. Silently he hoped if she messily killed him Spy was the one who had to clean it up.*

There a reason yer not wearin' clothes?

What do you mean? I'm wearing clothes!

[Hey, it was covering her enough she didn't see the problem. Besides, this was her house! Who was he to tell her what she could and couldn't wear?

Shutting the door behind him, Pyro went over to the table to grab a blue box neatly wrapped with a matching bow.]

Come over here and open this.

[Offering it out to him, she rolled her eyes still a little annoyed at his comment.]

*He snorts at that but doesn't say anything. He takes the box cautiously, surprised that it was in fact a present, and not her flamethrower with a bow on it.*

What's the occasion?

*Still a bit wary he starts to unwrap it, tucking the bow in his pocket to give to his dog to play with later.*

I wanted to show you how sorry I am.

[Inside, Sniper would find a white cup with familiar blue paint. The words on the cup would read #2 Sniper. Before he got a chance to even open it all the way, Pyro was smiling mischievously and laughing like a mad woman inside her head.]

This still 'bout that piranha thing?

*He pulls the mug out, staring at it in surprise. Well it wasn't lethal, and it wasn't going to kill him so that was a bonus. Though leave it to Pyro to find a gift that was equal parts practical and insulting.*

Very funny.

*But the fact she had even attempted a peace offering was speaking volumes to all those emotions that BLU didn't have.*

Uhm .. thanks Pyro.

Maybe it is.

[Maybe meant yes.]

What do you mean it's funny? I painted it up just for you! You can pour all the coffee and alcohol you want in it.

[Flashing the most innocent smile ever, for a mere moment it appeared Pyro was sparkling. It was horrifying.]

You're welcome.

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